I hate to continually rip into Yahoo's editorials. Well..........no I don't.

America's Best Places to Raise a Family - Yahoo! Real Estate

I don't really think I need Yahoo to tell me where to live my life. Nor do I need them to explain the simple fact that when you live in a county (or "township" if you will), that barely hits the dozen mark in population, you're going to have low crime per capita. Oooooooooh......no one ever told me that big city means big crime, more people, higher cost of living, more job opportunity.

Well, it's decided. I'm going to move to Noblesville, IN because Steve Schwartz and his wife told me so.

Just 15 miles north of downtown Indianapolis, they sell fishing equipment and rent canoes to locals like Indianapolis Colts kicker Adam Vinatieri and former Formula One racer Derek Daly.

"It's the best of the best," says the 47-year-old Schwartz, also a Hamilton County councilman, referring to the area and its quaint hamlets, low crime and desirable cost of living. "It's a great place to raise your family. It's safe, it's fun, it's affordable and it's growing."

I love small town minds sometimes. I wonder what his idea of "growing" is. Also, my idea of selling fishing equipment and renting canoes is now thwarted because of their family. What else is there for me to do now? I think I will either open a corner store or wrangle hookers.

I'm sure you're wondering what rounds out the top 5?

Ozaukee County, Wis., and Johnson County, Kan. came in second and third.

But what about 4th. Of course the article doesn't go into that.

I think I'll just go back to my depressing, high cost of living, in the city. You'll probably see me hanging weights from my genitals in an alley.

-cB