Electroshock is Green Tea for the Soul

As a connoisseur of journalism, I spend much of my time reading nonsense. With that in mind, you should probably check out what is my new most favoritest news story ever. It is such a good story, my superlatives got away from me there.

I think I enjoy this story so much because of certain phrases I refer to as flags. Flags are words that help you skim through news stories because you already know what the words mean, and they are words that you don't see often enough to cause you to ignore them.

Today's flags are:

• truth-serum injection
• Satan worshippers
• brainwashed
• Arkansas

Now that I review that list, I am starting to get a little bit worried. I'm almost certain that this exact thing occurred in my rejected screenplay for the next Jason Bourne movie.