The Katie and Nomi Show: Episode I

So, for episode one of the Katie and Nomi show, Katie and I borrowed a lame myspace survey. BUT, from now on it's up to you to come up with the questions. Any 20 questions you can come up with, we'll answer to the best of our knowledge and ability. Here goes:

1. When was the last time you shaved your legs?
Nomi: 1996.
Katie: Well... Most the time I just shave what can be seen...or until it gets really uncomfortable in my jeans.

2. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Nomi: Waiting for Katie to get out of the fucking bath.
Katie: Color correcting pictures. I wish I would have known I was going to answer this so I could have been doing something cooler.
Nomi: So, you’re still dirty then?

3. The last 2 people to say they loved you?
Nomi: Sarah and my grandma.
Katie: My mother and father.

4. Last time you had a relationship?
Nomi: 4 months ago.
Katie: A good relationship? I tend to get myself into fun, dramatic, and pointless relationships that last for a month or so. I reject past life lessons.

5. Last thing received in the mail?
Nomi: A letter from Hillel wanting me to apply for a job with them. I feel like the Jewish mafia is strategically trying to recruit me.
Katie: I am going to skip the pointless mail and respond with "A letter from my mother with three checks in it... hay ooooo!"


6. Have you ever had sex in a public place?
Nomi: Public as in outdoors, yes, public as in had an audience, no, that would be porn and if I’m going to do that I’d like to get paid.
Katie: Yes. Outdoors is like my thing. At a party with my friends and family cheering me on? Yes, that also.

7. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Nomi: Yeah, and it had to be the night I had a kilo of herion stashed in my rectum too.
Katie: No. I'd be down for a nice frisk by a overweight bald cop though.

8. Are you any good at math?
Nomi: Um, I’m better at equations without numbers. Like, beer + wine + whiskey + redheaded sluts = vomit.
Katie: No. I am really retarded...Not socially acceptable? Andy says that about his brother and it's ok.


9. Do you have plans on Saturday night?
Nomi: Roadtrippin’ with the fam.
Katie: I'm going to the race track with my family for a belated father's day event.


10. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Nomi: I draw Katie’s name in the sand.
Katie: I draw nomi's face...and then we gaze into each other's eyes and i glently rub lotion on her back.
Nomi: Um…gay.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Nomi: Only if the sex is REALLY good.
Katie: I went on this camping trip and did not sleep all night...and then had to work right after the trip...and then decided to go out. I said I would be designated driver that night but I needed an energy drink. My friend (who was a closet pill popper) gave me something. I didn’t ask what it was, for whatever reason, and then started twitching and having to shake back and forth. After that I realized I was on something more like coke than red bull...and stayed awake for another 24 hours.


12. Do you like the ocean?
Nomi: I’d be kind of indifferent but, the ocean has sharks, which makes it fucking awesome.
Katie: I am really scared of open water...and I don't like sand...or salt water...or the thought or something really creepy touching me. Give me a pool and a fancy drink with a little umbrella please.

13. Do you stay friends with your ex's?
Nomi: Only the ones who still have DVD’s I need back…er, I mean yes?
Katie: Yeah, for the most part.

14. What are you excited about?
Nomi: Sharks (obviously), Bruce Springsteen, Katie and hand-holding.
Katie: Nomi moving back.
Nomi: Awwwwww.

15. What did you do last night?
Nomi: Saw Rattatouille!
Katie: I had board game night at my place and then I sat alone in the dark on my computer...looking up profiles of single men....and then photoshopped their faces into pictures with me. We can be honest here right?

16. Where do you keep your money?
Nomi: I keep it in a safe at the secret lair of the five Jews who control the media.
Katie: I’m Irish...we keep our money in banks.
Nomi: Who do you think owns the banks, Katie?

17. Do you remember the most naughty night of your life?
Nomi: I remember plenty, but I’m kinda hoping the MOST naughty night of my life hasn’t happened yet.
Katie: I hate the word "naughty" it makes me think Santa and I don't like to draw parallels with Santa and sex.
Nomi: Katie, brace yourself…there is no Santa.


18. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Nomi: I don’t really care who gets in with me, but I’d rather sleep in Katie’s bed. That’s for sure.
Katie: My bed is the most comfortable thing on the planet and I don’t like sharing it. If you’re a male in you’re in my bed, let’s finish it up and then you go to your end...I’ll go to mine and we’ll meet back up in the morning.

19. What was the weather like on your birthday?
Nomi: It was a cold and blustery day, the drive to Champagne was dangerously icy, but we risked it all in the name of watching a fat stripper lose a dollar up her ass.
Katie: It was fall. I don't really remember, but I guess it was raining cause it usually does.


20. Would you have sex with any of your friends?
Nomi: All of them. At the same time.
Katie: Well, I have in the past.
Nomi: I thought we decided not to tell anyone about that?

The Meat Index

The Meat Index
This is a documentary piece I did in 2006. Over a three month period I experimented to see if the way I viewed meat would change. When I began, with the first photograph, I was a carnivore but then restricted myself to vegetarianism. I shot pictures of different types of meats a few times a week in the same setting. The type of meats I shot ranged from canned to resturant items, as well as home cooked goods. Here are the first three images I shot. I will post more images and more details about the project later.


Taco





Tuna



Cod Fish

Brew For Breakfast - By Nomi Kane

Click the image to see it in High Rez...so you can read the text

There are Happy Reunions, and Then There's This...

So, I have a confession to make, I just watched two back-to-back episodes of "Reunited: Real World Las Vegas". (Cut me some fucking slack, I'm home sick from work.) Reality TV has baffled me pretty much since it's inception, they might as well have dubbed the genre "We're all out of ideas TV". And, as pathetic as it is, "Reunited: Real World Las Vegas" might be the first sign that the "reality" craze is coming to a screeching halt, hopefully, it's the beginning of the end for reality TV.

Think about it: we've come to a point where we can't even be bothered to think up new ideas. Oh, MTV needs to fill another time-slot? Let's just do Real World Las Vegas AGAIN. Pretty soon, COPS is going to start RE-arresting the same retarded criminals for parole violations. The original contestants of The Bachelor will demand a rematch, The Osbornes will babble on endlessly in drug-addled gibberish AGAIN! I was pretty sure there wasn't any way for reality TV to get more boring but, lo-and-behold, someone's fucking thought of one.

Reality TV was a real cop-out for most networks to begin with. It's extremely low-budget, it demands only the bare minimum in pre-production, there are no stars demanding to be paid star-salaries, the premise for every episode is the same so, to hell with writers, there's no minimum I.Q. requirement for viewers and if the show tanks, it's at relatively low-cost to the network. This is a brilliant business plan as long as America stays interested.

Still, there's something else about "Reunited: Real World Las Vegas" that's bothering me. What self-respecting person would want to be on The Real World...again? All seven of the original Las Vegas cast members agreed to this preposterous remount. Hey guys, we looked like a bunch of fucking idiots in front of seventy million viewers once before, who's up for another go? The only thing worse than watching 7 people in their early twenties sitting around bitching and moaning and talking shit about each other, is watching 7 people approaching thirty sitting around bitching and moaning and talking shit about each other. (Although, I'd like to point out that watching 7 people approaching ninety sitting around bitching and moaning and talking shit about each other would be fucking hilarious.) When I say this, I say it for the entire reality television landscape, not exclusively pretaining to The Real World, but I sincerely, sincerely hope that contestants and cast members on reality tv shows are not an accurate reflection of Jane and Joe Average America....but, they probably are. The most I can really hope for is that the non-idea well of reality TV is finally running dry and pretty soon even the nay-sayers will be forced to watch quality shows like LOST and Rescue Me and The Sheild.

The Principality of New Media

Roy Bates bought in 1967 an old WWII sea fort and claimed independence from the Brits, a man after our own heart. The structure is just two towers with a platform between them, rising out of the sea. A nice home with a sea view in every window.

The Principality of Sealand is a micronation located on HM Fort Roughs,
a former Maunsell Sea Fort located in the North Sea
10 km (six miles) off the coast of Suffolk, England

- Wikipedia

I've always been fascinated by micro nations in general. The idea that one man (or woman I suppose) can claim an area as his own invokes an ancient tribal sense of survival in me. While at the same time raising questions about the nature of ownership. What is it that makes us want to break free of the shackles of society and go it alone? Certainly not everyone wants this but for those of us that do? I'm sure there's a good answer and I could probably make a pretty good go at it, but Jesus Christ I don't want to get a headache.


The coolest part of this little Principality occurred a couple of years ago when a start up company called HavenCo. tried to make Sealand into a data hub. Being only three miles off the coast of England it seemed like a perfect spot to store data and ship it over to England while bypassing many English laws.

And that is awesome.

But it feel through apparently and now we don't get a little island of pirate dreams. Maybe...

This year The Principality of Sealand when up for sale. With a six figure price tag it wasn't cheap but it opened up the sweet possibility. The torrent site Piratebay.org started taking donations to buy the little make shift WWII landing post thing and turn it into a hub of illegal (well not in TPOS) content.

And that's where I get even more excited.

First off, Pirate Bay's attempt didn't gain much momentum before it finally died, but it did open up the possibility that for the first time people could legally get any movie, music or pron of any type from a giant off shore data hub. And that just sounds amazing.

But really, what it does bring up, and what I really want to discuss is the idea of information exchange in the 21st century. The Internet is here to stay unless there is some catastrophic disaster (which probably isn't as unlikely as you would think). So it makes one wonder how we will distribute our media in the coming years. What is an industry that is dependent on sales going to do in the face of growing access to free content? The age of studio/label/network control is coming to an end, at least in its current form. With online distribution turning more and more serious and the ability to produce quality content for cheaper and cheaper, someone had better figure out how to make some money!

Sure you've got iTunes, but who uses that all that much? Well probably a lot of people. Some labels are talking about providing a subscription service to allow you to ddownload whatever you want for a monthly fee, which is probably the best idea I've heard yet. And it makes me think that one day in the future we'll all just have everything we ever wanted hooked up to our credit cards or some form of it and just go about our lives as if everything is free and just paying a monthly fee.

The future is bright for those of us who want to take a big slice of the pie home with us. In the spirit of Sealand, each and everyone of us can create their own Principality and make something of it in the 21st century.

I'm keeping my eye on the sea view.

Welcome Welcome

A few new authors, recently added.

Josh Staman, another Jew for the site, they are already starting to take over.


and Clint Vaupel, my boss oddly enough. He doesn't get a picture because I don't think he actually knows what the internet is. (I mean, he doesn't even have a myspace.com account? Who is this douche?)

I am owed a future . . . THE future

Remember what we thought the future would be like? Teleporters, flying cars, laser guns, and robo-whores for everyone. Well, I feel slighted by the future. I feel as though I was promised these things as a young child and am now being deprived of them with every passing day. I ask you, where is my hover-board?

Here we are, well into the 21st century and things really aren't that much better than they were in 1986. I'd even be happier if we had a combination of the kick ass technology and the flip side of the future coin: the oppression of an authoritarian government engaged in mind control, drugging the water supply, hauling away dissidents with secret police and so on and so forth. All that bullshit would be totally worth it if I could just have a flying car. Also, Bush is really close to getting there, so I feel at the very least I deserve x-ray glasses or a laser gun.

But maybe that better tomorrow isn't so far away. Remember all the old sci-fi shows? Or Star Trek? Or Star Trek: The Next Generation? Or Star Trek: Insert Subtitle? Well I don't, but I have a composite sketch in my mind of what they said the future would be like. And I know they all had that one little gadget that could do everything. Well that little miracle may finally be here. I have seen the future, and I'm not talking about high def pornography. I can begin to taste it. And it tastes sweeter than a Charleston Chew wrapped in a Fruit Roll-Up dipped in frosting.

That's right, the future is upon us. Looming like a child molestor on school property, but different, because it doesn't give you the heeby jeebies. It gives you a feeling that all that badass stuff you thought would be around by the time you were 25, may finally be around by the time you're 45.

If you haven't figured it out yet I'm talking about the iPhone. If you haven't heard of an iPhone yet you can just go ahead and keep dragging your knuckles on the ground. Because if you're not making your wireless calls on an iPhone, you may as well be beating two rocks together trying to call China. I thought my iPod was the greatest invention ever. And it still is, but the iPhone is an iPod . . . and so much more!!! If there is anything it can't do, I'm not aware of it.

So now you may be saying, "Peter, this does sound like a wonderous invention, surely you must have one." No, I don't have one for any of the following reasons.

-They haven't been released yet.
-I don't have fat stacks to drop on a phone (not just a phone)
-I'm not dumb enough to buy 1st generation of any new technology.
-I don't need all of that stuff (stuff ?!?!?!? It's got a 2.0 megapixel camera, it can play music, movies, it has a 3.5 inch touch screen, full internet, e-mail, and automatic asswiper. And unlike most technology, it is guarenteed never to go berzerk and turn on the human race) on my phone. I just need to send and receive cellular calls.
-I can only imagine with all that awesome stuff what the monthly fees would be. Probably a lot. And they probably only accept money.
-I don't yet have the means to Bedazzle it once I get one

With all that being said, I still fucking want one. However, I'm certainly not going to pay for one. Why should have to purchase something that I am owed. I was promised a future of nifty gadgets, devices and modes of transport. And where are they? Nowhere to be found. But now we have hope, a glimmer, a twinkle in our eye. And I fucking WANT it.

So, because we all expected a future of magnificent wonder that was never fulfilled, I think Steve Jobs should give everyone in America (in my dream future all the other countries with the brown people are extinct) a !FREE! iPhone. Why? Because someone owes me a goddamn proper year 2000. It may be seven years late . . . but I'll take it.

Another New Guy!

I'd also like to welcome Adam Burns to Dirty Cricket. An actor, a professional degenerate and a Texas native, Adam will be proving to us that one can rationalize even the most irrational of theories. He'll make your brain hurt, but he'll probably make you laugh too.

Free Tibet*

*When you purchase a Tibet of equal or greater value. Not valid with any other offer.

I bring up the freeing of Tibet, because I happened to read the phrase in Nomi's blog in reference to a lack of bathing. I believe it to be an important issue (Tibet, not bathing. Bathing, I dare say, is highly overrated.) despite having what can best be described as virtually no knowledge whatsoever about it. They say that what is right is not always popular, and that what is popular is not always right. In the spirit of this annoying phrase, I have decided to formulate an opinion that is neither right, nor popular, and that is that Tibet can just free its damn self because I'm really quite busy.

It's all well and good to talk about freeing Tibet, and ending genocide in Darfur, and somehow finding a way to tack an extra 200 years or so onto Paris Hilton's jail term, but when it comes right down to it, you have to make choices in life. I would love to see the end of strife in underfed African nations, but who has the time to bring such change with the American Idol results show coming on in just half an hour? I mean, I could send a few quarters to some foundation, and, sure, it would feed and save the lives of starving children, but then I wouldn't have any laundry money and my socks sure as hell aren't going to wash themselves. Have you ever tried to think globally in a pair of boxer briefs that you've been wearing for eight consecutive days? It can't be done. You can only think locally in that condition, and the specific locale you are thinking about is your crotch and exactly how much it itches**.

** A lot.

And let's be honest, there's no point in helping the homeless if it means you can't make enough of an income to keep a roof over your own head. I promise you, no matter how worthy the cause, by the fifth or sixth time your boss hears, "I can't come in today, I'm working to eradicate AIDS in an underdeveloped nation", you're back on unemployment and having to focus all of your energies on finding a cost-effective method of food stamp forgery, because, seriously, the government seems to have no concept of how much a man who has just completed a six hour water bong session is capable of eating.***

*** A lot.

Maybe what we should be focusing on is not how to free Tibet, but how the hell Tibet let itself be captured in the first place. Are WE to blame because Tibet wasn't paying attention? I mean, if somebody slaps a big cage around your entire nation, and claims it's "just a privacy fence"and you fall for it, how responsible are we, really, for getting you out of it? What do you want from us? Do you know how big a cake we'd have to bake to smuggle you guys a hacksaw big enough to cut through the bars of oppression? We can't be trusted with that kind of responsibility. Hell, we can't even get through this blog without confusing reality with the weird metaphors we keep throwing in.

Who is This Guy Anyway?

I'd like to welcome new contributing author, Peter Alb, to Dirty Cricket. Peter will be repulsing, and simultaneiously charming, us with his musings on whatever he's bothered to form an opinion about.

Kitchen Trilogy Part II

Enjoy!

A little context

Hey Mikey! He likes it!

Another new contributor




Mike Little - an old friend of mine from Decatur. I pretty much grew up with this kid. Anyway welcome to the site Mike, I know you'll have a lot to say, and then more, and probably a little more after that. But that's okay I love you for it. And goddamn I hope everyone else does too.

Gonna Fly Now!

On February 16, 2007 it was reported that former world heavyweight boxing champion, Rocky Balboa was arrested while entering Australia for attempting to smuggle human growth hormone. It therefore came as no surprise last week when the World Boxing Council decided to strip Balboa of his title records for steroid use/smuggling.

The enormously hard headed (at least in the ring) Balboa refused to comment, however I was able to snag brief interviews with most that played a part in the rocky legacy. Paulie Panino for instance told me “Your lungs he’ll punch out you keep asking this (SIC) stupid questions, you scum bum!” Tony Duke, long time trainer of Balboa and builder of so called “hurtin’-bombs” has gone on record denying any involvement in the steroid scandal, going so far as to say “I thought it was all those damn eggs he drank. I mean let’s be serious, he’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer and you gotta be good at something, so I figured he was good at putting on muscle. I blame that damn Russian.”
Ivan Drago refused to comment as a result of leaked footage of him injecting himself steroids, while listening to “Heart’s on Fire” by Survivor. However his ex-wife, Ludmilla Vobet (who divorced Ivan in 1985 to have a brief tryst with Balboa who promptly shut her down after learning of her intentions, she now chases one of the guys from Public Enemy and fences VCRs to feed her drug habits) insists that Drago got Rocky hooked on the juice. “At first Ivan used to just sniff creatin, but I knew once he started injecting that it was the end. I knew your Italian Stallion would defeat him. Those steroids do nasty things to you. After their fight they made peace and Ivan showed Rocky the beauty of injecting…the sex was never the same.”
Figuring Balboa’s former protégée would know more, I tracked down Tommy Gunn, who you will remember won the title from Union Cane in a much over-hyped squash match only to have the tar beat out of him outside of the Lucky 7 Tavern in Philadelphia, which was broadcast on local cable television and was memorable as it was the first street fight in the history of the world to be broadcast live and not be stopped by the police. In fact, they formed a barrier! Now THAT’S what I call respect.
The World did not hear much from Gunn after Rocky trounced him. Evidentially he tested positive for HIV just after this bar brawl and until just last winter was still HIV positive and prevented from boxing. Currently he blames Balboa’s drug problem. “You know that sucker was injecting! He was sharing needles! I had no clue at the time! He was HIV positive when we fought and I got it from his blood! But since he’s too dumb to know he’s in trouble and too tough to ever be sick, he never had any symptoms!” In fact when Balboa was given his physical before his final bought with Mason “The Line” Dixon (a name only slightly less racist than the #2 contender Jim “The Law” Crow) he was given a clean bill of health.
But a clean bill of health is all this widower, restaurant owner father of one, celebrity will have now that the WBC has stricken his two title reigns from the record. As for the legions of adoring, inspired Rocky fans (I am one, admit it you are too), we must do as we’ve always done. Follow the only clear path of truth and justice, that being the path that our God, Balboa, has outlined for us. No longer do we need to drink raw eggs, run like hell, attempt 400 lbs. squats and 350 lbs. bench presses. Now we can just shoot up. So who’s got the gear?

men/women/?

Profiteering for Profit-Extinction

Micheal Moore's latest film Sicko, which is an attack on the United States healthcare industry, seems to be generating a very fascinating P.R. campaign. His first interview since the Fahrenheit 9/11 buzz happened on Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO last Friday.

They discussed how, at Cannes, Moore was recieved by both Democrats and Republicans alike. He told Maher that a man approached him after the screening to tell him (in tears) how much Moore's film moved him... and that he and his wife have always been die hard Republicans.

This story was repeated on Oprah this past week. Oprah's viewing audience is gargantuan and she has been known to attack her guests from time to time. However, she clearly sided with Moore, and there's no better way to attract the centrist majority of America than to show your face next to a grinning, God-loving, phony balogna Oprah Winfrey.

Not that I'm totally complaining. I think Moore is playing political chess better than ever.

For example, one of the most compelling arguments in the film (as seen in the trailer) points out how the detainees at Guantanamo are recieving excellent free health care from the military. He contrasts this with some of the 9/11 rescue workers that developed respiratory problems who were refused healthcare since they weren't on the government's payroll.

Think about this for a minute. One of the loudest screams from the left since the "war on terror" began was that the detainees from Gitmo were being tortured. Now the left-wing's poster boy is saying that they're recieving free healthcare. How can the right-wing defend itself from these attacks? Are they going to say "Gitmo's no picnic" and therefore agree with the left's previous argument? They're cornered, but I'm sure they'll just avoid talking about it.

Sicko's core point is that the healthcare industry can't be for the people and be for profit at the same time. I whole-heartedly agree, but I also think that's just the tip of the iceburg.

To further illustrate:

If food is for profit, it's going to make you addicted and slowly kill you, which it does.

If housing is for profit, it's going to be over-priced and place homeowners and tenants in terrible debt, which it does.

If news is for profit, it will favor the interests of their (wealthy) sponsors rather than the interests of the viewers in need to know, which it does.

If philosophy is for profit, you have religion. There I said it.

If the motivation of a society is geared toward the quest for greater and greater profits, rather than meeting the needs of people, it will clearly function in a lopsided and unfair way. The rich will continue to get richer and the poor will grow in numbers exponentially. To make the best profits you need the most cheap labor to exploit, and desperately poor people make excellent cheap labor, and if they're sick they're even more desperate.

I just hope Moore's intentions are good and that by attracting such a large amount of people, he'll use his own profits to keep talking about why profits are bad in general, not just for the healthcare business.

The Kitchen Trilogy Part I

dove: the official soap of the US Penitentiary System

Why do strangers keep shoving money at you?

I know, I KNOW, we're not supposed to judge or stereotype our fellow man, but that's some seriously counter-intuitive shit. We can't help it, our brains are designed to categorize. When we come into contact with other human beings, we immediately assess them based on what we can ostensibly garner. These observations may very well turn out to be entirely false, but we make them just the same. We need to contextualize each other in order make sense of the world, and anytime someone jams our radar, it nags at us. There are certain groups of people who are especially perplexing, who give me serious pause while deciding how to categorize them. Every time I step out in public, I'm faced with several conundrums.

1. Pregnant vs. Lopsidedly fat: This is the most common offense, and it's a risky mistake to make. If a woman is pregnant, it would seem almost rude not to congratulate her on her impending motherhood, on the other hand, if I say fucking "Mozel tov!" to a woman who is not pregnant, there's a good chance a) she's going to go home and cry or b) she's going to beat the living shit out of me with her purse.

2. Gay vs. European: I know what you're thinking, what's the difference, right? I guess in Europe, the metrosexual thing is tres chic, but here in the good ol' U.S. of A., it kinda just makes you seem gay (or at least open to experimentation). The only real danger in fucking this up is that it's kind of bewildering to have to ask myself, "Is this dude being so nice to me becaust he wants to be my shopping buddy or my fuck buddy?"

3. Hippie who hasn't showered in a month vs. Actual homeless person: First of all, I'm not in any way shape or form a proponent of bathing strikes. There are more proactive ways to free Tibet. Sure, sometimes when you're in a really degenerate mood, 48-hours could theoretically go by, but at the end of those two days, any normal person is going to be fucking disgusted with themselves, bite the bullet, strip down and soap up. Aside from that, shame on you for impersonating someone less fortunate than yourself. There are tons of people in this country who are actually homeless and rely on the charity of passers-by. I fucking hate when I go up to bedraggled looking stranger, sitting on the sidewalk downtown and offer him half a pizza only to discover that he's just waiting for his friends to show up for their mid-afternoon hackey-sack game.

There are clearly a lot of instances where not being able to make initial assumptions could really hinder social interaction. What if I mistake an actual nerd for a hipster-douche trying to be ironic? What if I mistake the hypochondriac who lives across the hall for a fellow Jew? What if I mistake the guy having a seizure and vomiting uncontrollably for just another drunk asshole? Seriously, stop letting the lines blur! If people don't start observing the confines of their stereotypes more strictly, things could get dangerous.

Scum your Idols

Anyone else really fucking sick of reading about celebrity stints in rehab and jail? When I went to cnn.com yesterday to see what was going on in the world, and what I got was Paris Hilton's face front and center, it got me thinking...

What, really, is the difference between Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan and Shanay'nay the crazy crack-whore who hangs out in front of the liquor store? Besides (obviously) income, I'd argue that Lindsay and Shanay'nay (or at least RDJ and Shanay'nay) are, for all intents and purposes, the same.

Lindsay shops for coke from passers-by in elite night clubs, Shanay'nay shops for coke from passers-by. Lindsay makes a mess of herself in the public eye, Shanay'nay makes a mess of herself in public. Lindsay checks into upscale rehab centers, Shanay'nay gets picked up by the fuzz. Both promise to stay clean, both fail. The similarities are staggering.

Still, somehow we idolize one and regard the other with the utmost contempt. I wonder what that says about us as a society, that our idols and our scum are, in essence, the same people...oooh, I know! Our idols are scum? Scum your idols? What?

The thing is, Shanay'nay's crack addiction is probably considerably more valid than Lindsay's (Not that I have the authority to validate anyone's addiction). 'Cuz really, what's Lindsay need an escape from? All that whiney celebrity bullshit about all the pressure of constantly being on display, I don't buy it. Unless you're Steve Bartman, or that guy with TB, or Elian Gonzales, you're generally not famous by accident. Being in the public eye is part and parcel of being a star, there has never been any serious evidence to the contrary. So, the sob story about how all the pressure drove you to your drug addiction? Fuck you. Your fame just gave you the money to buy the good shit. Shanay'nay on the other hand, was probably neglected, or more likely abused as a child, probably never had truly sufficient education, probably has only ever worked minimum wage jobs that don't pay the bills, never had a loving supportive family who gave a fuck if she did crack, etc. Shanay'nay probably has the kind of problems from which crack does seem like a viable escape. **I'd like to note here: crack is never a viable escape. When you think about it, we should actually be MORE sympathetic to Shanay'nay's plight than to Lindsay's.

What's that you say? But Lindsay's got a nicer rack?

Pshhhhh, you clearly haven't seen Shanay'nay flash creepy-rascal-riding-guy for a dollar.

Booyah.

Y....M....C....A!!!!

more to come as I learn to draw

New People!

I'd like to welcome our first round of new contributors.




Nomi Kane, will be delighting us with her rants on who knows what, but I know it will be good. Plus its not bad to start with a good looking woman on your site. Sorry for sounding like I'm forty.


Andy Patch, who will be treating us to some of his alright art work. Sort of like a comic strip, but with no central them, probably nothing is going to make sense actually

Ben Nissen, who will be contributing some rather interesting material. I'm looking forward to what he has to offer. Sorry no failed attempts at humor on this one.



Thanks to all three of you for agreeing to try this fork in the road with me and I look forward to seeing what you have to offer.

Look for more contributing authors to be added in the near future. And if you're interesting in blogging for Dirty Cricket shoot me an e-mail and let's talk.

The Future!

The future of Dirty Cricket is going to be interesting. Right now I'm taking the first steps towards expanding this beyond just my own ramblings and turning it into a viable media outlet.

That's the plan anyway.

So first things first, I'll be welcoming some new authors onto the site to contribute their rants and ravings, so look for that. Also I'll be uploading films from time to time that you can watch here on the site or you can subscribe to the podcast and download them yourself. The idea eventually being that we will have several podcast much like you have several television shows today.

I'm sticking with Blogger for now because my skill in web design is very limited. But someday we will pack up and make the official move over to dirtycricket.net...which right now isn't much, but it will happen.

So if you've got any ideas for the site please let me know. Also let me know what you think. All though we have 0 subscribers now...anyway, look forward to that. I'm going to be working hard.