Free Tibet*

*When you purchase a Tibet of equal or greater value. Not valid with any other offer.

I bring up the freeing of Tibet, because I happened to read the phrase in Nomi's blog in reference to a lack of bathing. I believe it to be an important issue (Tibet, not bathing. Bathing, I dare say, is highly overrated.) despite having what can best be described as virtually no knowledge whatsoever about it. They say that what is right is not always popular, and that what is popular is not always right. In the spirit of this annoying phrase, I have decided to formulate an opinion that is neither right, nor popular, and that is that Tibet can just free its damn self because I'm really quite busy.

It's all well and good to talk about freeing Tibet, and ending genocide in Darfur, and somehow finding a way to tack an extra 200 years or so onto Paris Hilton's jail term, but when it comes right down to it, you have to make choices in life. I would love to see the end of strife in underfed African nations, but who has the time to bring such change with the American Idol results show coming on in just half an hour? I mean, I could send a few quarters to some foundation, and, sure, it would feed and save the lives of starving children, but then I wouldn't have any laundry money and my socks sure as hell aren't going to wash themselves. Have you ever tried to think globally in a pair of boxer briefs that you've been wearing for eight consecutive days? It can't be done. You can only think locally in that condition, and the specific locale you are thinking about is your crotch and exactly how much it itches**.

** A lot.

And let's be honest, there's no point in helping the homeless if it means you can't make enough of an income to keep a roof over your own head. I promise you, no matter how worthy the cause, by the fifth or sixth time your boss hears, "I can't come in today, I'm working to eradicate AIDS in an underdeveloped nation", you're back on unemployment and having to focus all of your energies on finding a cost-effective method of food stamp forgery, because, seriously, the government seems to have no concept of how much a man who has just completed a six hour water bong session is capable of eating.***

*** A lot.

Maybe what we should be focusing on is not how to free Tibet, but how the hell Tibet let itself be captured in the first place. Are WE to blame because Tibet wasn't paying attention? I mean, if somebody slaps a big cage around your entire nation, and claims it's "just a privacy fence"and you fall for it, how responsible are we, really, for getting you out of it? What do you want from us? Do you know how big a cake we'd have to bake to smuggle you guys a hacksaw big enough to cut through the bars of oppression? We can't be trusted with that kind of responsibility. Hell, we can't even get through this blog without confusing reality with the weird metaphors we keep throwing in.