Hrm?

I haven't had much chance to check into this whole thing so far, but why is it that America (or anyone else, seemingly) isn't intervening in Myanmar? Is it just a followup to the complete void that is Darfur aid, that Bush will gleefully attack who he always wanted to attack before he was even president, but when a situation arises in which it probably WOULD be prudent to do at least SOMETHING, he washes his hands before they even get dirty?

This is partly sarcastic, but partly honestly me wanting some information. I don't even know where to begin to research this.

Stanley's Day

Not to overload you with videos, but here's another movie I did some time ago called Stanely's Day.



Stanley is an average guy. He has an average apartment and an average girlfriend. But just like all of us have sometimes Stanley's having a bad day. How can it get any worse? How about a dead hooker in your bathtub.

Director's Note:

This is a film I did years ago, the story is a bit tired I think, but overall I'm happy with this film. I want to thank everyone who helped me with this all those years ago when I didn't really know what I was doing, but then again if it weren't for films like this I wouldn't be where I am today. Sorry it took so long, but I hope you can all still enjoy it!

Dirty Cricket Presents

Stanley's Day

A Jeph Porter film

Shot by Andrew Johner

Staring
Dane Lewandowski - Stanley
Leah Arnold - Alexis
Molly O'Conner - Hooker
Aaron Baker - The Landlord
Jeph Porter - driver

Original Music - Bob Besser and Matt Aufrecht

Thanks to
Matt Webb and Rachelle Diggs

The Oldest Bottle

see it much bigger over at Stage6

Dirty Cricket Presents

A Jeph Porter Film

Staring
Andy Gwyn - Frank
Elliott Fredland - Sam
Jim Volkober - Booby
Frank Platis - Dean
Steven Montague - Brent

Producer by Jamison Acker
Director of Photography Andy Patch
Edited by Alison Swank
Original Music - Derek Porter

O Jesus

How could this be any more funny?This is how:

This year, "Perverts Without Morals" chose to deliberately mock Jesus Christ, Christians and The Last Supper, by depicting half naked homosexuals, leather men and women as the 12 Apostles, and display sex toys in place of the bread and wine.

A bloody fist can be seen in front of the central figure portraying Jesus Christ, possibly representing the vile sex act of "fisting" - where one's fist is fully inserted into another individual's anal cavity. (emphasis added)

Christ, I love how they have to describe it in detail. I'm sure the author probably knows about these things because he has to do a particular amount of "research" working for the Christian Wire. Just like Pete Townsend was "researching" child porn for a book.

O wait, this may be just as funny.

More stuff to read!

Skeptic's Circle # 70 There are some good pieces in this one. Check out Greta Christina's drunk blogging about seeing Jesus on drugs and Skeptico's rant on alternative medicine.

The first of my older essays.

I will be posting some old essays here. Many of them I wrote back when I was doing old MLA style so there are two spaces after the periods and shit like that. That's what happens when you learn to type on an IBM. Thanks a shit ton public school. I wrote this one back in late 2000. If you've already read this then do it again. I was copletetely serious about this stuff and all things contained in this essay were well researched and based on fact. I have since lost the references page, but none of this is bullshit... I promise.

Why Things Cannot Be Solved

I figure I got a solution on how to get rid of all the homeless people in America. By my estimation, half of the homeless people in the US are drunken low lives who do not really have the right to live. The other half of this countries homeless population is just people down on their luck. People that got laid off from their job because the CEO of their company decided he wanted a new flashy sports or luxury car and decided laying off a couple hundred workers all across the US would be a quick way to raise the money. So, what do we do about this problem? We set one day aside to give every homeless person in this country of the drunken variety a bottle of heavy booze. Vodka, Everclear, Scotch, it really doesn’t matter what kind. We monitor them and make them drink the entire bottle in one sitting. Hopefully they are woozy, passed out, or maybe even if they and we are lucky, dead. Why would they being dead be luck you may ask? It is because phase two of this plan is to cook them and to force-feed them to the other half of the homeless population. Now we would have half the homeless population we did and they would be all without hunger for two to three days straight. Some skeptics out there might be questioning if this plan would really work. One major hole in my plan people might say is that you could only do it once. Not true is what I say. Ask yourselves this question. If you were forced to eat another human being don’t you think you might develop a drinking problem? I know I might. Therefore, this sets up a cycle. The next year we take all the homeless who have developed a drinking problem from having to eat another human being last year and do the same thing we did to the original drunks the previous year. Follow me on that one?

This plan would work out perfectly except for one problem, the guy who owns the Salvation Army. Many people do not know that there is a sole owner of the Salvation Army. The answer is that if there were homeless people around were no longer around the Salvation Army could not still exist. People just wouldn’t believe there was a purpose for it. The purpose of the Salvation Army is to help the homeless, right? Wrong! The vast majority of the American population thinks that it is a non-profit organization. This is not true!

Do you know the money you drop into buckets around Christmas time? The same ones held by Santas ringing bells that are outside of grocery stores. All the money that is put in to that bucket goes straight to the owner of the Salvation Army. He gets 99% of every penny, nickel, dime, etc. that goes into those buckets. The other 1% goes to the “homeless”. Who are these so-called homeless people who get this 1%? They are workers of the Salvation Army who is fired because they weren’t Santa enough for the owner’s taste. They receive a check from the Salvation Army, which is part of the 1% a year before being fired from the company. People on the inside of this company call the owner of the company the President. Common name for an owner I guess. It has a double meaning though. He is the commander in chief of an army, the Salvation Army. His right hand man is called The General. I think he is like the head of a notorious Polish crime family. Anyway, this guys job is to execute anyone who may do anything that might mean the destruction of the company, i. e. me if I ever put my perfect plan into getting rid of the homeless into effect.

It kind of makes you sick just to think about it doesn’t it? I would really like to stick it to a company like that. Maybe rent a Santa Claus suit, get myself a bell, and stand outside a grocery store around December 25. I would make myself a small profit. I doubt the owner of the company would care enough to send The General after me though. The cops would come after me probably though. Not because I am impersonating a legit charitable organization, but because they’re in on it too. They know what’s going on. They need to protect the Salvation Army because it is a large corporation. That’s what America is all about anymore, is big business.

Do you honestly think they will not let women and other minorities into certain parts of, or even into to begin with, the military because of safety concerns? That just isn’t the case. The reason is your biggest money-spending consumer that buys products from mainstream corporations is a white, upper-middle class male. If you let women or such minorities do certain things when it concerns the military a white, upper-middle class male will start feeling insecure about himself. This will lead him to either one of two paths. One scenario is that he will get depressed because of his insecurity and not perform as well at his job. This results in him getting fired. Because of this, he will not have as much money to spend, and that is not a good thing for the corporations. The other scenario is the that he gets angry, gives this country the middle finger, and leaves it for, let’s say, Japan. Now over in Japan it only takes five American cents to make a pair of Nike’s and it probably only costs one American dollar to buy those shoes over there. Nike is out of $99 because the government says its okay for a woman to participate in combat when a war happens even though it is peacetime now. (Well, it was peacetime when I wrote this so don’t go getting all offended if there is a war happening when you read this.) That is why things such as world peace or an end to hunger cannot be achieved. It’s just not good for business.

Heavyweight Champion of the Dorks!

Okay, so while I enjoy such things as role playing games, comic books, and other such things I have no where near the proficiency or knowledge of those things to be called an Über geek. So, besides my chronic virginity and still living at the house I grew up with what makes me think I am a bigger dork than most people in the country. I participate in a hobby know as e-wrestling or fantasy wrestling.

It is not like fantasy football where you pick real people that you expect to win. Oh no, you create your own wrestler or character. My character is a superhero type based off a They Might Be Giants song named Particle Man. He is very small. His large sidekick/manager is Universe Man. He is a huge, hairy fellow who dresses in a bondage mask and leather speedo. After you create your character and get accepted to a “federation” or “company” you compete in matches. The way you win matches is by writing role plays or promotional interviews saying how you are better than your opponent and expounding on your characters background or current story or angle he is involved in. To the average professional wrestling fan that I have talked to this hobby sounds asinine and pointless. Of course, the average wrestling fan seems to think reading or writing in your spare time is both asinine and pointless. To the non-fan I can only imagine how ridiculous they think this hobby is. I mean think about it for a second. You are pretending to be someone that is pretending to fight. There are several rules to writing these role plays. One is not to use your opponent in the role play without their permission. Then “owner” of the “company” that you “wrestle” in decides who wins the matches based on your interviews. After he chooses who wins then he writes a wrestling match and posts it on his website.

Prizes for winning matches, besides bragging rights, are title belts. Not real titles mind you, but just the agreement with your peers that you are a champion in the “company” that you belong to. I have won multiple tag belts, a few secondary singles titles, and held the main title for one “company” I was with. Not one of them has meant a shit to me. There are people who are bigger dorks than me. People who think this shit actually matters. People like the player, a person I had just become aware of mind you, who told me he was an “e-wrestling” legend. I have heard of cases where fucking marriages end over e-wrestling. Honest to Christ, if you participate in e-wrestling and are lucky enough to have someone who will have sex with you just quit. To a lesser extent there is a lot of lying, backstabbing, and other underhanded behavior going on this hobby on many players quest to be the best. I find this quest to be ridiculous at best. There is a difference between the best Monopoly player in the world and the best fantasy wrestling in the world. Normal people will actually give a shit if you’re good at Monopoly.

I was quite proud of myself when I pretty much stopped participating in this hobby before the age of nineteen and before age twenty I thought I had quit permanently. Then cut to earlier this year. I finally caved in and accepted that I was living with my mother. You have to understand she’s not home but two days of the week and I only pay for utilities, so it’s a pretty sweet deal. I mean, I’m not going to get an apartment unless it’s in a different city than the one I am currently living in. That’s how I keep on justifying it anyway. Add the adjective spineless to modify the word dork, because that’s indeed what I am.

Before I even started paying for the internet, because I was leaching off of someone else’s connection, my online friends from my past started slowly coaxing me back into the fake, fake sport of fantasy wrestling. I have committed to continue this hobby to the end of December. I sort of enjoy doing this as it forces me to write, but no matter how victories I rack up between now and Christmas I will still feel like a loser.

Now, here is a supplemental extra to the essay above. I have many wrestling promotional interview (promo) including one with a Satanic Easter bunny with a giant Chocolate Jesus. My last promo I was preparing to face off against a tag team called the Sex Symbols. Don’t be surprised when you are confused. Just try to enjoy the non-wrestling related dick jokes. Here is the last wrestling promo I wrote:

(The scene star wipes in. Particle Man is sitting his chair and Universe Man is sitting on his couch. Both are watching apparently watching Tex Avery cartoons as evidenced by the slapsticky sounds coming from the TV. The get a knock on the door and Particle Man leaps up. It is the familiar BACW cameraman, but this time he is accompanied by a young male production assistant. The PA holds a DVD in his hand. Particle Man looks at his disheartened face and sees several mushroom shaped welts and bruises covering the young man’s visage.)

Particle Man: Moses on the mountain! You don’t look so good there young man. What happened to you?

PA: Well, I was walking home from O’Mickey’s Irish Pub the other night. I had only drank a couple of beers—

Particle Man: Meaning two or meaning ten?

PA: I only had two pints I swear. Anyway, I was walking back to my loft and they surrounded me. A few days later they sent me this DVD in the mail. I showed it to the offices of BACW and a few of the wrestlers, but they just laughed and called me names. You’re my last resort Particle Man. I didn’t want to bother you, but I think I need a hero to protect me.

Particle Man: You say they attacked you. Who are they? Was is it the Sex Symbols?

PA: I don’t think it was the Sex Symbols. It was a group of five guys. They were all average sized guys wearing brown and flesh covered robes with cowls that covered there face. They assaulted me with the most absurd weapons, but there were enough of them to do quite a job on me. Look on the marks they left on my face. To tell you the truth I thought I had dreamed the whole thing even with the bruises on my face, but then they sent the video.

Particle Man: What was this absurd weapon or weapons they attacked you with citizen?

PA: Well, they circled me and beat the crap out of me with dildos.

Particle Man: What?!

(Universe Man starts to involuntarily giggle.)

Particle Man: Unholy plastic, prosthetic, phalluses you have got to be kidding me. I mean, I have encountered some weird cases in my day, but this one takes the cake.

Universe Man: Where cake? There going to be cake served today?

Particle Man: If this young man is telling the truth the only thing that is going to be served today is a big bowl of justice Universe Man. So what all this about this video Production Assistant?

PA: My name is Phi--

Particle Man: No need to reveal your secret identity.

PA: Well, it’s very cryptic. Why don’t we just watch it?

(Particle Man takes the DVD from the young PA and they watch it. A figure obfuscated by the shadows speaks in a disguised voice.)

Shadowy figure: I had my minions attack an employee of your company Mr. Batee. There will be more attacks. They will be increasingly more severe based on the position and amount of power the victim holds in your company. I am going to take over your company from the bottom up and rule the wrestling world. I will use the program to subtly indoctrinate the masses so the whole country will worship me for the god that I am. If anyone one of the athletes in BACW thinks they can stop me then they can suffer the same fate as the lowly production assistant by going to the same spot that we pummeled him at midnight any day of the week. Until then, my loyal followers will just have to convert or dispose of any other non-believer that wanders by.

(The video goes to black.)

PA: So do you guys think you can help me?

Universe Man: Yea yea yeah! It’s on like a pot of neck bone.

Particle Man: Sho ya right Universe Man and dat’s the tru-fus, Rufus!

PA: What?

Particle Man: We will put this genital genocide of BACW to a stop citizen PA.

PA: Killer!…

…

(Later that night in spot that the PA directed our heroes too the masked avengers wait bathed in the light of street lamps eagerly awaiting battle. A camera man hides in a nearby alley to catch any potential action… suddenly the two BACW stars are surrounded by eight minions mentioned by the PA. As the PA had told them they are armed with dildos.)

Minions in unison: Bow down and worship our master or we shall leave you dead in the streets! Either way you will be coming back to his temple.

(Universe Man drops to one knee and begins to tremble.)

Minion: A wise decision Universe Man.

Particle Man: He’s not worshipping your master. He’s laughing at your demands you dolt!

(Universe Man drops to the ground and starts laughing hysterically. The minions take advantage of him being down and start pelting him with the plastic pricks. Universe Man stops laughing. The camera man cuts to a near by dumpster when you predicts what is going to happen. Two by two all eight men go flying through the air and into the dumpster. Another figure emerges from the shadows. It is a Chinese man with giant double donga. He twirls it around like he is quite proficient in using it during combat.)

Chinese Man: You have disgraced my ancient fertility religion and now you must die. Hiyaaaa!

(Particle Man and the man with the double donga spring into action. The Chinese Man swings at the gut of Particle Man and our hero hits asphalt. Universe Man goes to console his boss.)

Particle Man: It is okay Universe Man. Connie Dong is going down. All the way down to China town, baby.

(Particle Man kips up. He charges the minion and slides in between the Chinese man’s legs. He grabs both ends of the double donga and ties it around the phallus worshipper’s neck. Still holding onto the penile bow staff tied around the minion’s neck Particle Man delivers a devastating double knee back breaker. Particle Man somersaults backwards to his feet and Universe Man holds the minion down.)

Particle Man: Now are you going to tell us where your master is or am I going to have to let my friend here turn your face into Chop Suey?

…

…

(The BACW cameraman sneaks into the location given by the minion wearing one of the robes he stole from the men in the dumpster. He has a small handheld camera he uses to capture the action. The temple is lush and decorated in a vaguely Eastern style. There are three steps leading up to a throne. The throne is turned around on a swivel so the man sitting in it can not be seen. On both sides of the throne two monolithic stone phalluses are erected. Two dozen robed minions bow to the throne in a pit below the stairs… Then a large crash as the dynamic duo of BACW bursts through the door. A voice calls out from the throne in an unknown language.)

Particle Man: Now Universe Man! Now!

(The camera man quickly tosses off his robe. Universe Man pulls three pellets out of his trunks and throws them to the ground. The pellets explode and smoke fills the room. The sounds of combat can be heard through the fog after the two heroes rush in. Minutes later the smoke clears and Universe Man throws the final body on the pile that Particle Man stands atop of. Particle Man poses and calls out the man on the throne.)

Particle Man: Give up now or go down like all of your minions.

(The throne turns around. A man in what can only be described as a giant dick costume stands up.)

Villain: You had no problems with my followers, but I do not fall so easily. You were supposed to do battle with a team known as The Sex Symbols, but you won’t make it that far for tonight you face the only Sex Symbol that matters. You face the man god! You face… The Dickhead!

Universe Man: Oh, so that why his head look like Darth Vader helmet in shadows.

(The Dickhead waddles up to Universe Man and sissy slaps him on the arm. Universe Man pushes The Dickhead to the ground. The Dickhead rolls around on the ground like a turtle. Universe Man also falls to the ground because he is laughing so hard.)

The Dickhead: When I get out of this suit you’re next Particle Man.

Particle Man: A rather unconventional way of disposing of my sidekick, but it worked. Your mere absurdity took my friend out of commission.

(The Dickhead rolls out of the giant dick costume. He is still wearing a dick helmet, but on his body he a flesh colored spandex body suit. He runs to one of the statues behind his throne and tosses Particle Man a sword. The Dickhead then goes the statue on his right and gets out what appears to be a two foot long vibrator. The Dickhead presses a button on the vibrator and metal spikes pop out. He then turns a knob at the bottom of it and it the weapon begins to vibrate making a whirring sound not unlike a light saber.)

The Dickhead: On guard!

Particle Man: Touche’, douche!

(The villain runs straight towards our hero. Particle tosses his sword aside. The Dickhead swings his giant spiked sex toy at Particle Man, but the masked man just steps aside and executes a drop toe hold. The Dickhead falls atop his own vile creation and begins to shake violently as the spikes penetrate his chest. Particle Man comes to the rescue of The Dickhead before he is fatally wounded. Particle Man helps the villain to his feet. Universe Man gets up as well and pulls some handcuffs out of his trunks. With the villain cuffed the heroes head out the door. The cameraman walks with them.)

Particle Man: We’ll just leave this villain in a phone booth for the authorities to pick up. He was a formidable opponent, if not in combat but in his ability to attract followers to do his bidding. We have defeated this walking sex symbol fairly easily. I have a feeling disposing of JD Hart--

Universe Man: More like JD Fart…

Particle Man: Alright… you’ve had your fill of sophomoric humor today, chum. That’s quite enough.

Universe Man: Sorry.

Particle Man: Apology accepted… as I was saying JD and Sean Peters are certainly better at combat than this villain and his cult, but I think they should be able to dispose of just as easily. It might take a little more time, but the challenge level will be the same.

Universe Man: Of course it take more time. Me think beating up two giant dick would take twice the time as defeating one.

Particle Man: I like the logic you’re using. Well said Universe Man. Well said!

(Star wipe to black.)

Random Thoughts I've had over the years.

I'm thinking most religions teach that murder has to be more pleasurable than sex. If you pleasure yourself some say you might go to hell for it someday. If you commit suicide you go lots of people say you go straight to hell.

I'm a professional wrestling fan so in the early hours of the morning before leaving work when I'm just there to sit alone and ponder I think of other things that may be pretend or "a work" just to take money away from people. I wonder when the Pope is going to break kayfabe.

Oh what a tangled web we weave! By we I mean the spider and I. Well, I guess I didn't do any of the weaving, but I supervised so I'm just as responsible. Like I said though, it's a tangled web, so it won't do. We've tried to untangle it, but it just ain't gonna happen folks. So I'm going to cut it with scissors. The spider won't have a home then, and knowing him he won't want to weave a new web. Perhaps he can just get a studio apartment. Those are pretty cheap.

Is there such a thing as something that is obviously ambiguous? If so I would think that everything that was ambiguous would be an obvious manner my next question would be if there was anything that would be ambiguously ambiguous?

There's this song by a group called Divinyls. Are maybe Dinvinyls is a person. I don't know. Anyway, there/her most famous song was "I Touch Myself". I always thought it'd be cool if some angsty group or singer covered the song but replaced the word touch with cut.

I would never tell anybody they were ugly. I don't think I would any way. Maybe if they were so ugly that it pissed me off. That, or if someone was really smug about their ugliness.

I saw this picture of sheep brains once. They were all brown. I wonder if my brains are brown like that. I'm guessing probably not. They're probably gray like my heart. If you eat too many organ meats they say that you can get gout. I wish unicorns existed. You could hunt them. Can you imagine the profit from the horn? Can you imagine the joy on a child's face when he gets to ride one? Better yet, can you imagine the melancholly look on the parents' faces when they realize that they just paid $50 so little Jonny could ride a unicorn. I would like to eat a unicorn. I wouldn't eat a horse, but a unicorn is special.

Do you know where chicken McNuggets come from? I'll tell you. The Grimace (who is shaped like a giant McNugget) and Birdie (a chicken) had sex. She laid her eggs, but when they hatched the children were already dead because the genes didn't mix. They were little, dead, grimace shaped chickens. They were born dead and ready to fry.

I woke up after a nap. Immediately after waking up a question came to me. "Where do scones go to heaven?" Scones, as in the fancy cookies some people enjoy with coffee. Heaven, in my mind, would be the place where God and the angels live. Also, as in the place where people who are arbitrarily deemed good go when they die in Judeo-Christian and the Muslim faiths. I immediately dismissed the question as nonsense and told myself that scones don't go to heaven. The question continued to bother me though. It was not the question itself, but the earnest manner in which I had asked the question that unsettled me. Seconds after asking the question I realized how silly it was, but the moment I had asked it I was completely serious. After I had answered the question it still kept echoing in my mind with the same genuineness it had when I first woke up. It was like part of my mind would not let go of the question. There was part of me that would not allow the question to be dismissed as foolishness. I thought this must be how crazy people feel all the time. I got up, drank a little water, and decided to write this. Part of me is still a little bothered as I finish this. The lesson is not to drink 4 cups of coffee and then force yourself to go to sleep. It is, or was, July 1, 2006. It is, or was, 3:02 in the afternoon and I am, or was, done writing.

I'm getting some money in a class action law suit. About six months ago I was at this monster truck show. They charged us for the whole seat when they knew damn well we would only be using the edge. The edge is about 1/4 of a seat legally. The tickets were $20 so a bunch of people are getting at least $15 back. Who knows what kind of money we'll get for emotional damages. I mean, I just can't trust another Monster Truck show again. Usually they scream something about charging you for the whole seat when you'll only be using the edge, but this time they forgot to put that in any of the advertisements for the show. Some guy thought he was a smart ass for calling them on their shit, but apparently we have a case.

You know how couples are registered at Target for weddings? I was thinking about picking a couple I didn't know, buy some sfuff from their list, and then keeping the appliances for myself so they wouldn't get it. It would be something to think about if I ever bought a house.

Science vs Psychosis

I was flipping through the channels and caught the Catholic channel. They were interviewing a guy who wrote a book about Catholic responses to scientific issues.
The writer was not a scientist.
All I could really watch without blood coming out of my nose was a bit about "the fallacy of the atom model." Science has determined that atoms are comprised largely of empty space. The writer's argument was that this can't be true, because you obviously can't have matter made of empty space. Obviously.
This reminds me of an event a couple months ago, in which I witnessed a Fox News segment in which they interviewed a weatherman who was giving arguments against global warming. Here, I use the word "weatherman" to differentiate from a "meteorologist."
One is a scientist. The other is a guy that comes on the news for ten minutes a day.
This would be like having a game show host talking about economics.
Stop it.

Tom Tomorrow

Going along with my last post about MoveOn.org...

(Click to see the full comic)

New Guy

Justin Howard, or as you might know him...Justin Howard.



I like to not limit myself on my perspectives in life because upon doing so you tend to pigeon hole yourself into a corner of agreement. Where everywhere you turn you see the answer you are looking for. So in an ever increasing attempt to provide prospective I've invited Justin to be a participating author on Dirty Cricket because he tends to lean a little further right on most issues then I do. He is a self proclaimed Republican and I am a self proclaimed "not a Republican". We get along fairly well in real life so it will be interesting to see what happens in cyberspace...besides the obvious virtual sex.

O well, enjoy!

Bad Ad

There is something very disturbing about this to me.

Today, the Senate voted 72-25 to approve Sen. John Cornyn’s (R-TX) bill criticizing MoveOn.org’s Gen. David Petraeus ad in the New York Times. The “sense of the Senate” resolution “strongly” condemns the “personal attacks on the honor and integrity of General Petraeus.”

What kind of country do we live in where an advertisement can command the condemnation of the United States Congress? I don't know what I was thinking but I was under the impression that we lived in a country where one of the rights we hold more important than any other right is the right of free speech. Maybe, just maybe MoveOn.org did go to far with their ad, but that it is not for congress to proclaim an opinion on.

How does this not rattle every American to their core? We have witnessed shockingly partisan judgments passed down from the hill, even after the democrat's "take over". How can anyone still have any semblance of hope that our system is still run by the people? It makes me sad to see this country in this state, but its even more sad to think that it's been this way for a long time.

Just recently, two laws that should by the very nature of what America is, have been passed, yet they where defeated? The Webb Amendment to the Iraq supplement bill, which would make sure that soldiers get equal time back home as they spend in Iraq. And the restoration of Habeas Corpus, a fundamental right that is in the constitution, that was suspended by the Bush Administration.

"The privilege of the writ of habeas corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in cases of rebellion or invasion, the public safety may require it."

- Article 1, Section 9, United States Constitution

Are we under invasion? No, we are invading. Is their a rebellion? Not yet.

I would say how much more is it going to take before we break this system apart, but obviously that isn't going to happen.

Santa!

A Tiny Revolution has a nice piece sort of along the lines of my rant about Bill O'Rielly

The Strange Case

I started a new side blog with my good buddy Nathan Retzer. We lived together last year and frequently had several conversation on religion and the politics of such. Being an atheist I found it very refreshing to talk to someone that is a Christian and not want to strangle them after five minutes of talk. We thought it would be a nice idea to publicize our little conversations, or at least provide a place where two view points can be equally represented. Stop by and check it out if you're interested. As of now its just going to be a collection of links to atheist/skeptical ideas, and hopefully Nathan will get on the ball and start posting some stuff. I am the one with a part-time job and not going to school, so its a little unfair.

Check it

P.S. we called it The Strange Case, ala The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde...get it?

ha

69th Skeptic Circle

Unscrewing the Inscrutable has it this time.

If you're unfamiliar with this, its a collection of some of the best essays on the internet. Skeptically minded that is.

Check it out.

Surviving God

I’m pretty sure everyone wants to believe in God in some form or another, even if it’s just a strong sense of belonging or purpose. But I find myself among the ranks of those who have a practical mind and cannot find a place to fit God. All the main points are clearly laid out in many books by Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens and Sam Harris. See Ben’s recent post about it.

But I don’t want to go into the practical side of it, because I’ve already conceived myself that there is no God, at least no evidence for the God of the Bible, or the Torah or the Koran or any other holy book on this planet. The fact is those are all made up by a lot of (sometimes) well meaning people just trying to make life a little easier, or get themselves a little ahead in a time when those sort of things could fly. But they can’t now. And I’m sorry to be harsh, but if you still believe that when you die you will be ushered to the pearly gates of heaven where God waits to give you all the luxuries you never had on Earth, you’re in for a surprise.

But then again if you really do believe that, then you probably think I’m in for a surprise.


But that’s really the point of contention here, and kind of what I’ve got on my mind. Faith. I know people, including the pope himself, who believe science and all its wonderful discoveries to be true and accurate and still believe in God. See they always want to take science one step further. Those of a religious mind view scientist as lost children with a candle in the dark who are just shy of seeing God. If they would only shine there light just a little further God would become apparent.

But we keep shinning and shinning and still no God, God of the gaps, if you will. The point is, if you already believe God exist then you’re going to see him in everything. But if you don’t then you won’t see him in anything. Most scientists like to comply with Ockham’s razor, the idea that if there is no evidence for something then don’t make it up. Especially when there are perfectly reasonable answers available. And even if there aren’t you still shouldn’t just make stuff up.

The problem of course is people aren’t comfortable with the idea of lack of knowledge. And that’s reasonable because if you don’t know something you’re vulnerable to that unknown something. I’m pretty sure most things we do in our life come down to that one fundamental desire – to survive.

Freud said it was sex, but sex is just an attempt to survive, beyond you granted, and into the next generation but it is survival. People have always invented things to better insure their survival, houses, cloths, refrigerators guns and religion. But where as the former provide physical forms of survival religion falls into the same category as government and politics; the Elk’s Club and the YMCA. An institution created to give stability to life. Our religious institutions provide a peace of mind to people who are worried about where their next meal is going to come from, or whether or not they are going to get sick and die. Is it a coincidence that we are one of the most religiously zealous countries and at the same time the only country in the civilized world that doesn’t have nationalized health care? If the government isn’t going to take care of us who is? God? Do you think it’s a coincidence that the Axis of evil contains some of the poorest nations on Earth? Religion gives people hope, people that have hope in nothing else.

But we don’t live in a world that is void of hope. Somewhere along the line, perhaps when we started to crawl out of our intellectual shells and view the world for what it really was, God lost his relevance and now he is struggling to survive in a world that doesn’t need him for hope. Preachers lay claim to moral authority and truth based on ancient text. All the while threatening those of us who don’t buy it with hell fire, here on Earth or otherwise. But they have no authority over the truth, truth is created in the minds of men and men are changing their minds.

And the concept of faith is something religion has laid claim too as well. As if having faith exclusively meant having faith in God. Faith is that element of throwing sand in the face of logic and carrying on as a means of survival. It is neither good nor bad, it is a human defense mechanism. I have faith that mankind will abandon religion and come to its full potential someday, without any evidence for this other then circumstantial. And I have this faith because it is what keeps me going. If I lost all hope then I would have no reason to live. But this power of faith comes from me and from my brothers and sisters of the human race. We don’t need God. We can survive him.

The Shock Doctrine

I love Alfonso Cuarón, director of Children of Men. He teams up here with Naomi Klein to do a short piece promoting her new book The Shock Doctrine. I'm interested and will have to check it out when I get through the mass of paper that is Atlas Shrugged.

SQUANDERED

Here's a bit of a more sobering reflection on Sept. 11th.

"I flipped on the television this morning and saw a bit of live broadcast of today’s September 11 memorial service. The cameras zoomed in on a weeping woman. I flipped the television off. I respect the grief of those who lost loved ones that day, but as a nation we have forfeited the right to grieve. A moment of great opportunity has passed, and it was utterly squandered."

via The Mahablog. Read the rest here

Who Are We?

Who are we? This is the question posed by Michael Moore in his latest documentary Sicko (see Ben's review here). Who are we indeed. Who are we to allow people in this country to get sick and not be able to get the treatment for that just because they can't afford it? I'm not a believer in hand outs. When I see a bum on the street I don't give them money; there are plenty of services provided where they can get the help they need. But I do not consider keeping the citizens of your country healthy a hand out.

A lot of people want to portray it that way however. They want you to think that someone who doesn't have health care is someone not working hard enough or is someone who is doing something wrong. And that attitude is stark evil. Since when is it a crime to want to live in a society where everyone is taken care of? Or educated? Since when is it a bad idea to have your citizens be healthy and smart?

Talk about terrorism. America is its own worst enemy. With the best he could muster, Osama Bin Laden killed 3,000 people on 9/11. Now think of all the people that are dead or dying because they couldn't afford heath care or were denied coverage. We are like a giant oak tree sitting atop a hill. Large, beautiful and impressive, but rotting on the inside. When a real storm comes we will not stand. And if that storm never comes we will topple over because our roots can no longer support us.

Under funded, dumbed down education on precipitates the rot, leaving every successive generation less and less equipped to handle the world around them. Instead they are taught that a winner is one who stabs his brother int he back to get ahead. A winner is the man who lies and cheats his way to the top. Quality sacrificed for quantity of sales.

However its not money that has corrupted us. It is the degradation of the mind. Creationist argue that we are losing god and that Darwinism teaches us to behave like animals which is the cause of violence and moral decay. I say it is the opposite. Creationism demands a simple world view, as does Capitalism and corporate profit making. Instead we need to understand that yes, we are animals but because of our evolution we have developed minds capable of love and compassion. We have build cities and technologies that have taken us out of the caves and the dirt and put us on top of the chain of life as this planet's most successful and powerful species. We are more powerful then any other animal could ever hope to be.

Who are we? We are human beings. We belong to each other and to this planet. Do not ever give that up, not to an government, any corporation or any god. We only do ourselves a disservice by harming each other. The human race as a whole is like every human body that makes it up. It has many parts working to their best efficiency; working to attain their specific goals no matter what. But always working for the good of the whole. This is why we must keep each other healthy and educated. Would the heart deny the kidney blood if it were ill? Should we deny a person the right to be healthy because they are poor?

It is not smart for a government to deny these rights to its people. It is like injecting yourself with poison in order to sue the syringe manufacture. America is many things, but in our quest to be on top we have become stupid, from the top to the bottom. Every starving person wants a chance to be on top so he can starve his brothers and sisters the same as he was.

The power of the individual mind working towards the advancement of man has taken us so far in so short a time that it can only get better. Mother nature has passed the torch of natural selection over to us, as her prize achievement putting the power to shape our future directly in our hands.

Who are we? We are responsible.

Religion: Science's Anti-Christ

So many ask me: Why do you have a problem with what other people think?

Because I might want to get on a bus in Israel someday or, I fear, get on a bus in Chicago in 5 years.

Here's a simple question: Why do we need religion?

Keep in mind that there's a difference between religion and spirituality. Religion is a set of teachings about the truths of both human morality and human history. Spirituality is the word that describes ones relationship with the reality around them.

Unfortunately, many of today's dominant religions rely on these things: Habit, Ritual, Loyalty, Fear and Sense of Purpose. They do not, however, rely on credible science. In fact, most of the religions of today are incompatible with the history of the world as it is constructed from verifiable evidence. Radiometric dating places the earth around 4.5 – 4.7 Billion Years Old while the Judeo-Christian calendar puts it at around 5700 Years, for example.

Of course, modern history has taught us that religion has been a fetter on scientific discovery. Copernicus, Galileo, Darwin, and so on have all been, at one time or another, condemned for their various findings. Not many of us can dispute the significance of their scientific work today, but that begs the question: If their discoveries turned out to be true and the Holy Bible untrue, then does the Bible have any merit at all? Can we cherry-pick which parts of God's perfect word are correct and which are bullshit?

Religion is the opposite of science in so many ways except one: They both make claims about the way the world is. In contradiction, science is a method for learning – an ever changing perception. As new evidence comes to light (and new ways of acquiring it) the view of what is being studied becomes enriched. Religion is a fixed piece of knowledge – the basis of which is contained in (usually) ancient texts. Questioning it (such as in science) can be one of the most egregious offenses. The only thing that gives religion its strength is the social culture dedicated to it.

Oddly enough, however, religious people are more atheist about other faiths of which they do not belong than most atheists are about all faiths.

Also, arguments of the faithful are impossible to debate, because they require no evidence for those faiths to begin with. How does someone argue against a statement like: I just know Jesus was the Messiah. Scientifically minded people are weakened by juvenile arguments, because you'll rarely ever hear them resort to saying the contrary: I just know Jesus was not the Messiah. Scientifically minded people require more evidence than what is available to give such a statement.

Like a drug, religion fills you with a sense of (albeit shallow) fulfillment. The sense of self-righteousness and God-given purpose allows religious followers the privilege of feeling special, larger than life, or even super human. We all know the kind – people who claim to look into the souls of others or feeling "presences" of the dead and so on. They also speak with a sense of entitlement as believers as they claim to know what is impossible to know and that the rest of us aren't as fortunate.

Then they claim that to be the case with scientists – that their arrogance is offensive. I'd like to point out that there's a difference between certainty and arrogance. When someone's job is figuring out the mutations of different viral organisms so vaccines continue to be effective, it would be tough to convince them that their certainty of evolution is false.

So, again, why the need for religion? It's not morality – that's for sure. The moral standards in most of the western holy texts are utterly outdated. Not even the most extreme fundamentalist follows all of the teachings of the Bible.

The purpose of morality is to limit conflict between social creatures. Chimpanzees, for example, have an excellent sense of morality and cooperation among their groups – all without God. Wolves and Coyotes – carnivorous predators - work effectively in social groups. They also share what is hunted. Again: No God. No Jesus. No Muhammad. No nothing.

If we don't need religion to be moral and its teachings of history are incorrect then what is its purpose? On the other hand, the role of religion as an unnecessary social divider is obvious. There are so many divisions between humans – color, sex, nation, class – why cloud the human species with more ridiculous sub-categories?

Now send me your hate mail.

Why Do We Support Bill O'Reilly?

It seems like a trend in the progressive/ anti-bush/ anti-fox news/etc. blogsphere/ media/ social circles to bash and highlight the absurd things that come out of Bill O’Reilly’s mouth. It’s as if every bias/ ignorant/ raciest comment that he spews forth is somehow a surprise.

And people eat it up. There are whole websites devoted to lambasting him and his ilk for the venom they spit. (Which I refuse to link to)


But all these things are just lending him support by trashing him. My mother always told me that the best way to deal with a bully was to ignore them. Because if this punk was treated like the insignificant piece of shit he is then he wouldn’t be around anymore. Why lower ourselves to his level? Why even mention O'Reilly and Fox News? The question of debate is open of course, but it is proven that a network and a persona like Fox and Bill O are not going to be willing to meet in the middle as a true intelligence would. Their soul intent is to subvert, manipulate and right out lie to further their agenda. It is a mistake to assume that their talking points is only a misguided way of thinking and that with enough understanding an agreement can be made. Two opposite agendas cannot agree because there is no common ground. You cannot lead someone to water that is not looking for water.

Bill O'Reilly is part of the machine that is eating up humanity, but he is only a small part. If you’re car is missing a cylinder you don’t get an oil change and hope it will start in the morning. All of these people, and I’m not going to limit it to Bill O, are results of a system that is set against you. And you’re not going to change that system by scrapping off the fringe elements.

It goes one step further into the shit house. Bill O and Fox exist for the purpose of distraction. The people pulling the strings and putting you in a little box don’t want you to see them. They want you to waste your time getting mad a Bill O'Reilly and Fox News. They want you to be so caught up in saving the world by taking on the big bad News Corp. that when and if you ever win you will be so filled with pride that you will not see that you haven’t put a dent in the machine at all. Or worst, you won’t win because you’re fighting a shadow boxer and you’ll spend you days fighting that until your old and worn out.

I use to get upset when I would see various clips of these people, and I couldn’t understand how people bought it. But it is mostly because we have made them our enemies. Like that school yard bully, we are afraid of them and that gives them power. Instead let us treat them like the insects they are and ignore them. Let them piss and moan about whatever they damn well please and let us shut them up with our silence. They are classic attention hogs and we are giving them what they want. Let’s spend our time on truly meaningful things. Let’s fix our country at the source by talking to each other about things that really matter. Instead of showing your friends the ridiculous clip of Bill O, show them a documentary.Instead of laughing is disbelief at the blatant bias of Fox News, talk with your friends about how you can make the world a better place.

The tools to fix this world are out there, we just need to pick up the right ones.