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Hello good people. Here's a happy holiday to you from Justin and the rest of us. I hope you find enjoyment in our enjoyment of this season.
Also we won't be back until next year...so see you then.
Our fourth episode folks, a very special Christmas with Justin Howard
We'll be taking a Holiday break so look for us after the new year, thanks for watching!
This is our 101st post, so we've reached some kind of mile stone here. Yay!
On another note, its a sad day for me. I know that I am truly growing up. I deleted the first blog I ever started checking from my Google Reader. Crooks and Liars.com let me ode to you:
No, never mind.
Anyway, Crooks and Liars was the first blog I started checking, and the first blog that got me into all this blog stuff, back when I was a young high strung college pup, furious about what I thought was injustice in our political system. And it was, politicians are evil crooks and lying liars. But after years of reading about their hi jinx and getting out raged and annoyed it started to dawn on me that politics is always going to be full of crooks and liars, you're never going to cleans the system by blogging about it, and no amount of activism is going to change things, short of a revolution.
Over the years I started checking blogs that actually made me smile and laugh and every time I would see something on Crooks and Liars I would shun it and probably click "mark all as read" instead of sift through the tons of post that would accumulated during a day.
So today, I removed it. I had waited to do it out of sentimental value, but it just wasn't worth it. I figure that my Reader should be full of things I want to read not things I want to delete.
So happy 100 post! I hope you've found the things on this blog enjoyable. I will try and keep that up.
As a connoisseur of journalism, I spend much of my time reading nonsense. With that in mind, you should probably check out what is my new most favoritest news story ever. It is such a good story, my superlatives got away from me there.
I think I enjoy this story so much because of certain phrases I refer to as flags. Flags are words that help you skim through news stories because you already know what the words mean, and they are words that you don't see often enough to cause you to ignore them.
Today's flags are:
The first episode of The DirtyCricket Show with Justin Howard.
Who are we?
Happy Thanksgiving
The WGA strike
Douche fuck of the week
What to look forward to!
Josh Staman is our man with the movie news...or something. Now he's out in L.A. rolling with the big folks, or not with the WGA thing going on. But anyway here's a movie he watched.
Josh Staman
Los Angeles Nov 16th 2007
Calling Sidney Lumet’s BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU’RE DEAD the most overrated movie of the year isn’t entirely apropos, and those words linger on my tongue, bitter like horseradish. It’s not because it isn’t, but because in all honesty – IT AIN’T A MOVIE! It’s a screenwriting exercise that a sophomore collegiate won’t shut up about: because it wrote itself; because it’s so hardcore; because Quentin might jump back and forth in time, but this one’s about real people with real problems, man! It was written by a “Kelly Masterson” and although the script is certainly competent in its…(how shall I put this?)…getting-a-very-good-grade-in-Screenwriting II-ness, I would bet money that Kelly is a dude. This is conjecture and unnecessary in reviewing the film, but BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU’RE DEAD reeks of either coked-up “hardcore”-fanboy or mouth-breathing cinephiliac collegiate who just can’t let that one script go.
Well, good for Kelly! Not only have “his” dreams been realized and “his” script is off the ground, but with Sidney Lumet attached! And Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ethan Hawke, Albert Finney, Rosemary Harris, and Michael Shannon no less! And – again, if that wasn’t enough for Kelly “Bomber!” Masterson (we all used to call “him” Bomber. It’s a story.) – the critics cannot get enough of this put-on. Well, the party ends now; I can honestly say were BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU’RE DEAD not an inexplicably overrated crime saga to begin with, I doubt I would’ve seen more than the faintest of recommendatory virtues in the finished product had I gone in fresh.
To start with the good: Philip Seymour Hoffman is quite good in a limited role that plays like a miasma of pseudo-Mametian indulgences that the man knows exactly what to do with. Potentially even better is Ethan Hawke with a sparse role that comes very close to barely existing (witness his final moments in the film, or, rather, don’t) and turns it into a winning turn of amiable loserdom. And while I wouldn’t call anything Sidney Lumet does in this film revelatory, the man knows how to bring out the best in his performers, especially in Albert Finney, who isn’t so much good as a living actor (he’s not) but AMAZING for a dead one; and let it be said, the man can cover a scene well and compensate for textural shortcomings so much that the film almost appears to be about something. Let it be said that although shot on the Genesis, the camera used for SUPERMAN RETURNS and the best-looking digital features around, the movie looks like ass.
And then there’s Marisa Tomei…
…’s boobies. We’ve been waiting quite some time for this…how shall I put this?...boobies, and it’s a tribute to her acting talent (and boobies!) that she comes across as a completely organic, interesting character despite being given nothing to do by Bomber, as she simultaneously and inexplicably beds brothers Hoffman and Hawke, of which I have nothing on that genetic discrepancy. The very first shot in the film is a graphic and mundane view of sex and humanity, and Hoffman takes her from behind and we watch the ordeal play out as Hoffman watches himself, and then they recoil in post-coital bliss…and the damn thing, while repugnant, almost works. She gives off a glow in this film and a pinch of arsenic and vinegar in even the pithiest off-glances and one-liners.
And yet she, and really everyone, is let down by the drab, detached script that is so needlessly convoluted, derived from contrivance, and pedestrian in span that those involved requested – nay! – DEMANDED the use of “Flutter Editing” to piece the damn thing together. Flutter Editing: last refuge of the tripped-out, that you may recall from EASY RIDER, and NOWHERE EVER AGAIN UNTIL RIGHT FUCKING NOW! If Flutter Editing is what is needed to piece your movie together, it’s time to start free associative writing on a napkin outside a Coffee Bean with your double-shot. Who knows? You might end up with something that is heartfelt, true, and honest…unlike BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU’RE DEAD.
While noodling around for videos for my last post (I won't link to it, it's literally just below this one(okay fine)), I found this video:
I think this man makes a very compelling argument, a compelling argument for euthanasia and eugenics.
So the big news I guess going around the circles I choose to pay attention to is the Writer's Guild of America's strike against the studios. The forecast is all doom and gloom (No more Heroes! Whatever, I stopped watching that show last season, I'm way too good for it now.).
But really, the effects can already be seen. The Daily Show and The Colbert Report have both stopped airing new episodes, as well as Late night television such as Conan O'Brian. This I will say for most of my demograph, is truly devastating. Here's a quick summary of the issues:
Basically writer's want to be paid for the work they do. Hard to disagree with that. Of course I don't know the studio's side of it, but my preconceived leanings tell me that they are just trying to squeeze and pinch every dollar they can out of their products, because they're a, you know, business. But then again, this is why unions exist. So I lend my full ideological support to the WGA and its members, which means beyond blogging about it I'll probably tell some people at a party that I support the WGA whilst reciting the above video to make me look cool and maybe get laid.
But the part that really interest me about this whole thing is the very thing which the debate centers around, the prominence of online media. The writers are sensing a shift in the distribution of content much like writers did when the television was new and are trying to align themselves in a position of not getting screwed over again. But at the same time its not just the medium that is changing, its the very nature of ownership that is changing.
While I support the writers (have I said that enough to be cool?), I think what they are doing is just bracing for a fall. They represent big media, with lots of money and production value put into their content. But if you saw Transformers, or any other Michael Bay/Jerry Bruckheimer/whomever movie you know that money plus a talent for making things look pretty, is not equal to good content.
YouTube and other such sites have told us that you can make something entertaining to watch (and something that can generate revenue) with hardly any money and it doesn't have to look pretty, sans unions and sans studios.
Creative Commons licensing has also shook up the idea of what can be done with media. Now under a CCL someone can share another's work and post it online with the same CCL and there wouldn't be any way of paying the creator for that. So in a CC environment a writer would get paid for the original incarnation of the work and any subsequent varieties produced by the source of the work and that would be all. But if that work is downloaded and spread virally, mashed up with other videos or simply shown to a large group of people (subject to the CCL terms of course) then the writer won't be making any money off it. There would be no one to regulate that, and that doesn't even matter. Content is generating revenue without regulation or restriction. The natural flow of ideas is supporting that very same stream of creativity. Seems like it would make sense right?
And you can tell that the WGA members a bursting at the seems with creativity and suffering under the lack of a medium to express it in currently by the small crop of independent videos they are making.
"Not the Daily Show"
From the writers of the Daily Show
Videologblog from the writers of the Colbert Report
I think there will always be a place for big media content, after all we all like to see well produced shows that have the money to attract talented writers/actors/directors/producers/the whole lot to create some of the best content out there. But if the studios won't pay the writers someone will! And the Internet is the haps baby that's not going to change save apocalyptic meltdown of society. And there's money to be made, as the above Daily Show video shows. In reality the studios need to be begging the writers to come back with open arms full of cash money. They are brining themselves closer to death with this old world attempt to control.
I often think of the quote from Jurassic Park by Malcolm where he says something about life finding a way and then he's right and the dinosaurs switch sexes and star breeding. Well creativity is like the dinosaurs, and studios and regulations are like the scientist trying to regulate. Life will find a way.
How Can We Raise Awareness In Darfur Of How Much We're Doing For Them?
what a great way to raise awareness...and the ending is priceless
I'm trying a new thing here...up top you'll see a showplayer for DirtyCricket.tv which is basically just a collection of my work that you can watch from the page. The blog will stay and so will most things, but I'm moving towards something here. Speaking of Kinks...
Mean Automakers Dash Nation's Hope For Flying Cars
I just knew they where trying to stop it!
According the the Blog Readability Test, it takes a High School education to understand this blog.
The age of internet entertainment is obviously upon us. I've been looking and waiting for someone to take a hold of this new medium and actually use it for its full potential. Why should TV be the only place where episodic fictional shows are? Granted there have been few already, but they lack compelling stories, or quality production, all the things that make TV shows so good.
Well now there is Irving Renquist, Ghost Hunter. A show put together by what appears to be some people from a Chicago suburb (hometown proud!). They have had two episodes so far, and I've watched both with excitement and anticipation. What they are doing is making what I have seen as the first attempt at a genuine show with investable characters. And that I commend, if only for the effort.
However I don't feel that Renquist represents where iTainment can go. This show still suffers under the burden of being a low budget production. The acting and the writing seem to take second place to their graphic and music department. Not enough time is invested in the development of the stories and the actual production of the show. This is of course why TV shows look better because they can afford to pay the best people out there to make their shows look good. And that has always been the problem with low budget productions. Not only does your project suffer from an inability to acquire very talented people but it also suffers under the concept of having a writer/director/producer who has to split his/her time between too many task.
I'm not knocking Irving Renquist, I like what they are doing, but I do feel it needs a bit more work before it could be considered a serious contender in the world of iTainment. Clean up the sound and the picture so it can be watched comfortability on any computer and for god's sake trim some of that annoying baggage off the story. At points I half expect Irving and his new girlfriend Dotty to start fucking on camera with all the faux sexual tension they spew, that seem stolen from a porn script. To much sex and not enough ghost hunting!
I'll keep watching though, before long I might get hooked.
hopefully this will be a regular feature on the site. Nathalie is an old friend and I like her style.
My internet's been down at home for a few days, and I've been freelancing at this photo studio, which means actual work and not any of this sitting on a computer all day and getting paid for it. This studio does catalog photography and that means I've been packing and unpacking lots and lots of furniture all day, and then repacking it the next day. Now I'm a skinny guy, so lifting and pushing and building aren't really in my job description. But I'm not complaining, its been good for me.
What is happening though, is my web skills have been slimming. As you can see I uploaded a music video Derek and I made for his band A Toothless Life, but when you click on it, it's too big. Awesome right? Well I'm going to try and fix that. I've got some ideas for things....it will work out.
In the meantime I'm making some money and working hard, always a good thing. And trying and trying and trying to get this new project off the ground.
Here, watch this.
A Toothless Life
The Ways I'm Going Blind
Back Stage Boogie Band
Dir. Jeph Porter
Because it's the first step in the creation of a death ray! I knew those scientist couldn't be trusted! You heard it here first!
What is everyone going to be? I haven't decided.
Here's a skull you can make for yourself.
A while pack I did a post featuring my friend Lauren Adams and her photography. And while checking my Google Reader (which if you haven't used, it is amazing) I saw that she kindly linked to my other blog The Strange Case. So I figured I'd do her one back and write something up on her page.
DirtyDishes... is a look into the everyday life and mind of Lauren. See her sleep, drive, and work and find out what she likes to do from day to day. She's pretty good at keeping it updated so if your hankering for some voyeurism this should do the job. I honestly think I see her more online then I do in real life. But at least its something.
Anyway, check it out, subscribe to it and keep up to date. She needs to figure out how to allow comments though because some of these things are just begging for it.
Probably one of the funniest things ever. Amazing what people will believe if they want to.
So if you pop over to dirtycricket.net you can see a new homepage I put up.
This is the start of "the portal" if you will. From there you can access this blog and what will be the press kits for various films of mine. I'm going to be adding more features as time goes on, so keep an eye out.
p.s. click the boat
I have a friend who interviewed Daniel Pinchbeck for a documentary he is working on. The impression he left me with was that all the book selling and stuff went to his head and now he's sort of a douche. But then again I would be too if a bunch of hippies liked my book.
So I finally made it through the brick that is Atlas Shrugged. And after one thousand one hundred and sixty eight pages in my centennial edition I’m wondering how I feel about it all.
I read The Fountainhead at the end of this summer and I was so floored by the philosophy set down in that book that I wanted to continue it into Atlas Shrugged. And it does continue as Ayn Rand herself says on the first page of the book:
“To all readers who discovered The Fountainhead and asked me many questions about the wider application of its ideas, I want to say that I am answering these questions in the present novel and that The Fountainhead was only an overture to Atlas Shrugged.”
“I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.”
“I trust that no one will tell me that men such as I write about don’t exist. That this book has been written, and published, is my proof that they do”
“My personal life,” says Ayn Rand, “is a postscript to my novels; it consists of the sentence: ‘And I mean it.’ I have always lived by the philosophy I present in my books – and it has worked for me, as it works for my characters. The concretes differ, the abstractions are the same.”
I just posted a bunch more videos. You can access them all now by clicking at the links up above right under the header image. I hope that makes everything a lot better. let me know what you think.
A Most Ambitious Experiment
2004
Written and Directed by Jeph Porter
Based on the short story of the same name by Mike Krath
Wife - Nora Lahey
Husband - Mike Fagin
Police Officer - Colin Durbin (voiced by Jamison Acker)
Banker - Jim Speers
Banker's Assistant - Chris Blough
Shot by Ryan Speers
Production Design - Andy Patch
Grip/PA - Adam Kolegas
Sound - Jamison Acker
One of the first things I did at Columbia.
Singularity
2003
Written and Directed by Jeronimo and Jeph
Jeph Porter - George
Ali Barnes - Girl
Filmed in the Fox Hole attic in Decatur, among various other places.
If you're interested you can buy the novelist version of this movie over at Andrew's page. Its quite a different take on the concept, but worth the read.
ElevenNineFortySeven
2002
Written and Directed by Jeronimo and Jeph
Jeph Porter - Stranger 1
Andrew Johner - Stranger 2
It get's a whole lot stranger then that
Meet George
2003
Written and Directed by Jeronimo and Jeph
Jeph Porter - George
Andrew Johner - Friend/Alien
Mary Bhnkey - Mother
Brandon Williams - Father
Rachelle Diggs - Alien
An early piece I did with Andrew while he was drugged up after surgery.
I'm trying to make this blog a little more comprehensive so you'll have to deal with some seemingly out of context post. They are just things that will go in the top bar eventually and they need to be on here so they can be linked to.
The Past
Often times people ask me where I got the name Dirty Cricket. And I respond, “it’s a short and boring story”. At least that’s how it started.
Way back in the mid-nineties my long time friend Andrew Johner and I had been making short stop motion animation movies; one day we were making a particularly epic film that required credits! This involved recording a Power Point display with the camcorder propped up on a pile of books. In all those early years (5?) we never once managed to get a tripod or a working battery for Andrew’s parents High8 camera, thus tethering us to the longest extension cords we could find and within range of a table or chair to set the camera on. Anyhow in typing the credits I went to write down the name of our production company and I turned to Andrew and said, “We need a production company name” and Andrew touched by a muse, or perhaps recalling some collection of word he had heard said, “How about Dirty Cricket?” I nodded my head and said, “Okay.” And that is the origin of Dirty Cricket.
The name anyway
As time went on I moved away from Decatur, IL and went to Columbia College Chicago to study filmmaking. Every effort that I did there was a Dirty Cricket film in whatever incarnation it turned out to be. Many of those are here on this site and there are still more that will be put on here.
The biggest advancement in Dirty Cricket however came in 2004 when my freshmen year roommate Jamison Acker and I decided we wanted to make a feature film. I wrote the script with a few close friends and we amassed a group of people that where willing to help us make it happen. Under the newly established Dirty Cricket Films LLC we planned a fundraiser, “Cricket Fest” and mailed out over 500 letters and request for donations. The party happened and we raised over $5000 in profit. It was a startling success.
However, after the momentum of the party things began to dwindle. People who had more pressing things dropped out of the effort and as script problems delayed everyone the idea of a small group of sophomore college students producing a massive post-apocalyptic feature length film became truly daunting until finally I was the last one left. And eventually I too saw the folly of such a rush and gave it up.
The lessons learned however, made the whole thing worth it. And in a certain way that was my goal in stimulating this event. I knew that if anything where to be done it had to be forced and I, as I often do, chose the hardest path. My father didn’t tell me many things when I was growing up but the one thing he did say was “Aim high” illustrating the idea that if you aim high and if you miss your mark you will still fall higher then if you had aimed low. So with this in mind I advanced the unimaginable idea of producing what would otherwise be a multimillion-dollar film. I convinced myself it could be done and I’m pretty sure I convinced several other people it could be done as well. And there was a lot of let down when we fell.
I've been reading Atlas Shrugged right on the heels of finishing The Fountainhead, which is an amazing book that really reaffirmed a lot of things I think I always thought about life but didn't know it. (if that makes sense) And being so shaken by it I quickly picked up Atlas Shrugged, well slowly; its a pretty hefty book rounding out at about 1400 pages. However I'm not as impressed with it as I was with the Fountainhead. Atlas is much more about politics then it is about philosophy. Of course politics is a form of philosophy, but it isn't the same and I think it cheapens whatever was so powerful about The Fountainhead. But that's a tangent I don't want to go on, mostly because I've still got about 300 pages left to read and I don't want to condemn the book just yet. But I do have some thoughts after burning a thousand pages so far.
Would Ayn Rand tip? I thought about this the other day as I wrote down a small tip on my credit card receipt and thought briefly about what it meant. Rand stresses the notion that it is important to never give anything. Everything must be exchanged for compensation. And yes, a tip is in gratitude for service, but isn't the waitress getting a pay check? I'm not paying her directly for her service, that's what the business does. And some say that it is expected for you to tip because the waitress doesn't make enough money to live on her check alone. But why is that my responsibility. I'm already paying the owner money for the food and service why do I need to give this waitress anymore?
Now before I look like a dick I want to say, I do tip. I think its important because waiters and waitresses do get paid shit for the most part and rely on their tips for a lot of things. Which is sad, because its almost got to the point some places where waitresses literally don't make minimum wage and instead get a tip share that makes up the rest; putting the burden of half of their check on us. But even in a perfect world its right to tip and that is exactly my point which leads me to my main issue with Ayn Rand's philosophy on this level.
Last night I spent an amazing evening with some friends, two I have known for years and two that I had just met that evening. We went to the new people's house and I experienced some of the best hospitality I have ever experienced. They made us food, showed us their art, listened to things that mattered to us (and where actually interested) and played a game of cards with us. I left with such an amazing feeling, that I haven't felt in a long time. And it struck me that whatever is at the heart of that feeling is what Rand is missing. We could live in a society where everything is exchanged for value and perhaps things would proceed more smoothly, however I think there is value in giving. There is selfishness in selflessness. And one step further, there is no such thing as selflessness.
Rand seems to advocate a cold world where the only human interaction is the exchange of money (and lots and lots of sex, which no one seems to pay for ironically). Sure she talks about other forms of value, often in cryptic passages that probably lead to her books being mammoth. But she makes no bones about the fact that their must be an exchange and paints those who don't engage in that as "looters" or "second raters". Well I will argue that she is wrong based on the fact that we can't help being selfish. If someone is looting from you or not fulfilling their potential its because thats what they want to do, maybe not consciously and maybe at the manipulation of someone else but there is a choice that has to be made there and they are doing the choosing.
So, we've selfishly decided that its right to tip, and that its right to give food to your company because we are exchanging something of value, good company. And perhaps that's what Rand's trying to say but I feel like it gets clouded by the hard economic stance she takes in Atlas.
Again, I haven't read Atlas Shrugged all the way through yet, so there is a good chance she'll still surprise me, I'll let you know.
A: George W Bush.
This article is very intriguing, and I will be researching more when I get the chance.
This was origionlly posted at The Strange Case my other Blog that focuses on the nature of belief. 
A couple of weeks ago Nathan and I had lunch at Small Bar on Division. It was a warm Sunday afternoon and we met for a fellowship. The purpose was not to discuss religion or God, but being that this was the first time we had seen each other since the start of this blog it was an inevitable topic.
I don’t remember the specifics of a lot of our conversation because most of it was a slow dance down to the point of contention in our belief systems. I believe it sprang from a discussion about Nathan’s post on science and my response. Which was more or less defining the aims of science verses the aims of religion. And it is my flaw to unfairly associate belief in a higher power (God) with religion. I don’t know if I see it as a flaw though, because in my point of view the two are inseparable, a veritable chicken and the egg. But other’s will tell you, Nathan perhaps, that they can be taken apart. And that point of contention eventually lead us down an interesting path, at least from my point of view.
As you do when talking abstract philosophy you tend to walk on stilts that look ridiculous to anyone not in the conversation so I hope that by diving into this you can follow.
We where talking about what the idea of God does for humankind. And I’m going to obviously rely on my impressions and ideas mostly because I honestly can’t remember much of Nathan’s. Sorry buddy but I’m more important to me then you are. Anyway, he can fill in the gaps in the comments. Okay, enough wasted time here I go.
In my opinion the purpose of God (one of perhaps, I have a lot longer to live so this list might grow) is to provide an example of good for humans to live up to. An almighty Father, both vengeful and just who practices unconditional love but simultaneously holds a hard line for the rules is the general picture of God I was taught to believe in. Of course this is the “character of God”, as Nathan calls it and not the God of the Bible, which in that case this description is sugar coated, and can be contradicted by actually reading the Bible, but then again that’s by opinion. So the character of God is the perfect example we should all strive for.
And I agree, depending on your definition of the character of God. I was telling Nathan, as I’ve told other people, and alluded to in previous comments, that I can have a conversation with a believer such as Nathan and understand their concepts as long as I view the word god as the power within me that allows me to experience the character of god. (Note the lower case) And that is a lot of reasons why this blog exist. I recognize similar feelings and experience without God that many ascribe to God. Thus leading me to think there is something else at work there.
And that’s where my head was as I sat over a pizza that that stupid ignorant Christian Nathan so kindly bought and shared with me in a time when I was broke and hungry. And it made me think, what is it that I am living for? I’ve long given up on the idea of a meaning to life, but should I rethink that?
The meaning of life is a term that expects and answer from an outside point of view I think. It almost demands a deity to hand us a card as in Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life, and read the answer like a talk show host would. I would argue it is the desire to transfer responsibility that springs this way of thinking. But science and reason has told us that every experience is derived from the mind, so why not the meaning of life? So it dawned on me that the meaning of life is for us to choose. That’s why there can be no one answer, and why the giant computer in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy chose 42. Isn’t it just like a machine to chose a number? And on that note, the question is probably up to us as well, but I’ll let the philosophical implications of that go for now.
But moving even beyond that we talked further about God as the ultimate good example. And the crux of our difference in opinion was exposed. See Nathan accepts that a Father God created us and watches us with love and awe. And we as his children are to be like him and to serve him. In a nutshell anyway, sorry if the mushy language mucks it up. And I believe that that ultimate good example is our own potential as individuals and as a species. I argued that by having the examples of history we can project our potential into the future and thus live our present lives to bring about the best possible version of that. Nathan however argues that it is necessary to have a separate God and thus a solid definition of good, and as a result evil. But I would go further and say that our definition of good has never been solid. In fact if you take the Ten Commandments I’m sure you can find examples in cultures around the world where each one is consider the antonym of the stated law in the Bible. (Wouldn’t that be a fun challenge?)
And even if it can be shown to be universally accepted as wrong to covet your neighbors donkey it still doesn’t diminish the fact that morality is created by community. How many times have we seen small groups commit strange acts that seem perfectly normal to them?
Now in theory the idea of an unfixed good is a good idea (is it? Ha!). But this goes back to the basics, no evidence for a God has been shown. I, and others like me, cannot rely on lack of evidence. But can a Christian really even claim an unfixed God? Hasn’t the morality of God changed over time? Even by rejecting the dogma of religion and forming your own individual view of God aren’t you shifting the morality of God? The same God that the majority would claim to this day was sending all homosexuals to hell? It is very clear that the morality of God is changing with our times. That’s why women can wear pants!
So overall, my point is the potential of humankind being our beacon in the distance. And at various times in history the ship we have sailed towards the beacon is the ship of God and religion. But as we get closer to the point in the distance we need to realize that that ship is ours and the point of light is not the kingdom of God, but our own kingdom here on Earth.
Did you follow that analogy? Well I want to say it again anyway. I think it can be shown that everyone strives for the potential of humankind even if they claim that they are striving to be like God. The harm comes in when people sacrifice what’s best for a fictional God over what’s best for humankind. It leads to stagnation and back peddling. The power of the mind to create, explore, love and express ideas is not the product of God but the product of our minds.
Okay, I’m going to stop being preachy, but I can’t help getting excited about my own personal potential and how it contributes to our race. And conversely getting frustrated by snags along the way.
So let me know what you think. Do you agree? Am I way off base? Am I standing on stilts still? Is this just a form of humanist dogma? I don’t know, let me know.
I haven't had much chance to check into this whole thing so far, but why is it that America (or anyone else, seemingly) isn't intervening in Myanmar? Is it just a followup to the complete void that is Darfur aid, that Bush will gleefully attack who he always wanted to attack before he was even president, but when a situation arises in which it probably WOULD be prudent to do at least SOMETHING, he washes his hands before they even get dirty?
This is partly sarcastic, but partly honestly me wanting some information. I don't even know where to begin to research this.
Not to overload you with videos, but here's another movie I did some time ago called Stanely's Day.
Stanley is an average guy. He has an average apartment and an average girlfriend. But just like all of us have sometimes Stanley's having a bad day. How can it get any worse? How about a dead hooker in your bathtub.
Director's Note:
This is a film I did years ago, the story is a bit tired I think, but overall I'm happy with this film. I want to thank everyone who helped me with this all those years ago when I didn't really know what I was doing, but then again if it weren't for films like this I wouldn't be where I am today. Sorry it took so long, but I hope you can all still enjoy it!
Dirty Cricket Presents
Stanley's Day
A Jeph Porter film
Shot by Andrew Johner
Staring
Dane Lewandowski - Stanley
Leah Arnold - Alexis
Molly O'Conner - Hooker
Aaron Baker - The Landlord
Jeph Porter - driver
Original Music - Bob Besser and Matt Aufrecht
Thanks to
Matt Webb and Rachelle Diggs
see it much bigger over at Stage6
Dirty Cricket Presents
A Jeph Porter Film
Staring
Andy Gwyn - Frank
Elliott Fredland - Sam
Jim Volkober - Booby
Frank Platis - Dean
Steven Montague - Brent
Producer by Jamison Acker
Director of Photography Andy Patch
Edited by Alison Swank
Original Music - Derek Porter
How could this be any more funny?
This is how:
Christ, I love how they have to describe it in detail. I'm sure the author probably knows about these things because he has to do a particular amount of "research" working for the Christian Wire. Just like Pete Townsend was "researching" child porn for a book.This year, "Perverts Without Morals" chose to deliberately mock Jesus Christ, Christians and The Last Supper, by depicting half naked homosexuals, leather men and women as the 12 Apostles, and display sex toys in place of the bread and wine.
A bloody fist can be seen in front of the central figure portraying Jesus Christ, possibly representing the vile sex act of "fisting" - where one's fist is fully inserted into another individual's anal cavity. (emphasis added)
Skeptic's Circle # 70 There are some good pieces in this one. Check out Greta Christina's drunk blogging about seeing Jesus on drugs and Skeptico's rant on alternative medicine.
Okay, so while I enjoy such things as role playing games, comic books, and other such things I have no where near the proficiency or knowledge of those things to be called an Über geek. So, besides my chronic virginity and still living at the house I grew up with what makes me think I am a bigger dork than most people in the country. I participate in a hobby know as e-wrestling or fantasy wrestling.
It is not like fantasy football where you pick real people that you expect to win. Oh no, you create your own wrestler or character. My character is a superhero type based off a They Might Be Giants song named Particle Man. He is very small. His large sidekick/manager is Universe Man. He is a huge, hairy fellow who dresses in a bondage mask and leather speedo. After you create your character and get accepted to a “federation” or “company” you compete in matches. The way you win matches is by writing role plays or promotional interviews saying how you are better than your opponent and expounding on your characters background or current story or angle he is involved in. To the average professional wrestling fan that I have talked to this hobby sounds asinine and pointless. Of course, the average wrestling fan seems to think reading or writing in your spare time is both asinine and pointless. To the non-fan I can only imagine how ridiculous they think this hobby is. I mean think about it for a second. You are pretending to be someone that is pretending to fight. There are several rules to writing these role plays. One is not to use your opponent in the role play without their permission. Then “owner” of the “company” that you “wrestle” in decides who wins the matches based on your interviews. After he chooses who wins then he writes a wrestling match and posts it on his website.
Prizes for winning matches, besides bragging rights, are title belts. Not real titles mind you, but just the agreement with your peers that you are a champion in the “company” that you belong to. I have won multiple tag belts, a few secondary singles titles, and held the main title for one “company” I was with. Not one of them has meant a shit to me. There are people who are bigger dorks than me. People who think this shit actually matters. People like the player, a person I had just become aware of mind you, who told me he was an “e-wrestling” legend. I have heard of cases where fucking marriages end over e-wrestling. Honest to Christ, if you participate in e-wrestling and are lucky enough to have someone who will have sex with you just quit. To a lesser extent there is a lot of lying, backstabbing, and other underhanded behavior going on this hobby on many players quest to be the best. I find this quest to be ridiculous at best. There is a difference between the best Monopoly player in the world and the best fantasy wrestling in the world. Normal people will actually give a shit if you’re good at Monopoly.
I was quite proud of myself when I pretty much stopped participating in this hobby before the age of nineteen and before age twenty I thought I had quit permanently. Then cut to earlier this year. I finally caved in and accepted that I was living with my mother. You have to understand she’s not home but two days of the week and I only pay for utilities, so it’s a pretty sweet deal. I mean, I’m not going to get an apartment unless it’s in a different city than the one I am currently living in. That’s how I keep on justifying it anyway. Add the adjective spineless to modify the word dork, because that’s indeed what I am.
Before I even started paying for the internet, because I was leaching off of someone else’s connection, my online friends from my past started slowly coaxing me back into the fake, fake sport of fantasy wrestling. I have committed to continue this hobby to the end of December. I sort of enjoy doing this as it forces me to write, but no matter how victories I rack up between now and Christmas I will still feel like a loser.
Now, here is a supplemental extra to the essay above. I have many wrestling promotional interview (promo) including one with a Satanic Easter bunny with a giant Chocolate Jesus. My last promo I was preparing to face off against a tag team called the Sex Symbols. Don’t be surprised when you are confused. Just try to enjoy the non-wrestling related dick jokes. Here is the last wrestling promo I wrote:
(The scene star wipes in. Particle Man is sitting his chair and Universe Man is sitting on his couch. Both are watching apparently watching Tex Avery cartoons as evidenced by the slapsticky sounds coming from the TV. The get a knock on the door and Particle Man leaps up. It is the familiar BACW cameraman, but this time he is accompanied by a young male production assistant. The PA holds a DVD in his hand. Particle Man looks at his disheartened face and sees several mushroom shaped welts and bruises covering the young man’s visage.)
Particle Man: Moses on the mountain! You don’t look so good there young man. What happened to you?
PA: Well, I was walking home from O’Mickey’s Irish Pub the other night. I had only drank a couple of beers—
Particle Man: Meaning two or meaning ten?
PA: I only had two pints I swear. Anyway, I was walking back to my loft and they surrounded me. A few days later they sent me this DVD in the mail. I showed it to the offices of BACW and a few of the wrestlers, but they just laughed and called me names. You’re my last resort Particle Man. I didn’t want to bother you, but I think I need a hero to protect me.
Particle Man: You say they attacked you. Who are they? Was is it the Sex Symbols?
PA: I don’t think it was the Sex Symbols. It was a group of five guys. They were all average sized guys wearing brown and flesh covered robes with cowls that covered there face. They assaulted me with the most absurd weapons, but there were enough of them to do quite a job on me. Look on the marks they left on my face. To tell you the truth I thought I had dreamed the whole thing even with the bruises on my face, but then they sent the video.
Particle Man: What was this absurd weapon or weapons they attacked you with citizen?
PA: Well, they circled me and beat the crap out of me with dildos.
Particle Man: What?!
(Universe Man starts to involuntarily giggle.)
Particle Man: Unholy plastic, prosthetic, phalluses you have got to be kidding me. I mean, I have encountered some weird cases in my day, but this one takes the cake.
Universe Man: Where cake? There going to be cake served today?
Particle Man: If this young man is telling the truth the only thing that is going to be served today is a big bowl of justice Universe Man. So what all this about this video Production Assistant?
PA: My name is Phi--
Particle Man: No need to reveal your secret identity.
PA: Well, it’s very cryptic. Why don’t we just watch it?
(Particle Man takes the DVD from the young PA and they watch it. A figure obfuscated by the shadows speaks in a disguised voice.)
Shadowy figure: I had my minions attack an employee of your company Mr. Batee. There will be more attacks. They will be increasingly more severe based on the position and amount of power the victim holds in your company. I am going to take over your company from the bottom up and rule the wrestling world. I will use the program to subtly indoctrinate the masses so the whole country will worship me for the god that I am. If anyone one of the athletes in BACW thinks they can stop me then they can suffer the same fate as the lowly production assistant by going to the same spot that we pummeled him at midnight any day of the week. Until then, my loyal followers will just have to convert or dispose of any other non-believer that wanders by.
(The video goes to black.)
PA: So do you guys think you can help me?
Universe Man: Yea yea yeah! It’s on like a pot of neck bone.
Particle Man: Sho ya right Universe Man and dat’s the tru-fus, Rufus!
PA: What?
Particle Man: We will put this genital genocide of BACW to a stop citizen PA.
PA: Killer!…
…
(Later that night in spot that the PA directed our heroes too the masked avengers wait bathed in the light of street lamps eagerly awaiting battle. A camera man hides in a nearby alley to catch any potential action… suddenly the two BACW stars are surrounded by eight minions mentioned by the PA. As the PA had told them they are armed with dildos.)
Minions in unison: Bow down and worship our master or we shall leave you dead in the streets! Either way you will be coming back to his temple.
(Universe Man drops to one knee and begins to tremble.)
Minion: A wise decision Universe Man.
Particle Man: He’s not worshipping your master. He’s laughing at your demands you dolt!
(Universe Man drops to the ground and starts laughing hysterically. The minions take advantage of him being down and start pelting him with the plastic pricks. Universe Man stops laughing. The camera man cuts to a near by dumpster when you predicts what is going to happen. Two by two all eight men go flying through the air and into the dumpster. Another figure emerges from the shadows. It is a Chinese man with giant double donga. He twirls it around like he is quite proficient in using it during combat.)
Chinese Man: You have disgraced my ancient fertility religion and now you must die. Hiyaaaa!
(Particle Man and the man with the double donga spring into action. The Chinese Man swings at the gut of Particle Man and our hero hits asphalt. Universe Man goes to console his boss.)
Particle Man: It is okay Universe Man. Connie Dong is going down. All the way down to China town, baby.
(Particle Man kips up. He charges the minion and slides in between the Chinese man’s legs. He grabs both ends of the double donga and ties it around the phallus worshipper’s neck. Still holding onto the penile bow staff tied around the minion’s neck Particle Man delivers a devastating double knee back breaker. Particle Man somersaults backwards to his feet and Universe Man holds the minion down.)
Particle Man: Now are you going to tell us where your master is or am I going to have to let my friend here turn your face into Chop Suey?
…
…
(The BACW cameraman sneaks into the location given by the minion wearing one of the robes he stole from the men in the dumpster. He has a small handheld camera he uses to capture the action. The temple is lush and decorated in a vaguely Eastern style. There are three steps leading up to a throne. The throne is turned around on a swivel so the man sitting in it can not be seen. On both sides of the throne two monolithic stone phalluses are erected. Two dozen robed minions bow to the throne in a pit below the stairs… Then a large crash as the dynamic duo of BACW bursts through the door. A voice calls out from the throne in an unknown language.)
Particle Man: Now Universe Man! Now!
(The camera man quickly tosses off his robe. Universe Man pulls three pellets out of his trunks and throws them to the ground. The pellets explode and smoke fills the room. The sounds of combat can be heard through the fog after the two heroes rush in. Minutes later the smoke clears and Universe Man throws the final body on the pile that Particle Man stands atop of. Particle Man poses and calls out the man on the throne.)
Particle Man: Give up now or go down like all of your minions.
(The throne turns around. A man in what can only be described as a giant dick costume stands up.)
Villain: You had no problems with my followers, but I do not fall so easily. You were supposed to do battle with a team known as The Sex Symbols, but you won’t make it that far for tonight you face the only Sex Symbol that matters. You face the man god! You face… The Dickhead!
Universe Man: Oh, so that why his head look like Darth Vader helmet in shadows.
(The Dickhead waddles up to Universe Man and sissy slaps him on the arm. Universe Man pushes The Dickhead to the ground. The Dickhead rolls around on the ground like a turtle. Universe Man also falls to the ground because he is laughing so hard.)
The Dickhead: When I get out of this suit you’re next Particle Man.
Particle Man: A rather unconventional way of disposing of my sidekick, but it worked. Your mere absurdity took my friend out of commission.
(The Dickhead rolls out of the giant dick costume. He is still wearing a dick helmet, but on his body he a flesh colored spandex body suit. He runs to one of the statues behind his throne and tosses Particle Man a sword. The Dickhead then goes the statue on his right and gets out what appears to be a two foot long vibrator. The Dickhead presses a button on the vibrator and metal spikes pop out. He then turns a knob at the bottom of it and it the weapon begins to vibrate making a whirring sound not unlike a light saber.)
The Dickhead: On guard!
Particle Man: Touche’, douche!
(The villain runs straight towards our hero. Particle tosses his sword aside. The Dickhead swings his giant spiked sex toy at Particle Man, but the masked man just steps aside and executes a drop toe hold. The Dickhead falls atop his own vile creation and begins to shake violently as the spikes penetrate his chest. Particle Man comes to the rescue of The Dickhead before he is fatally wounded. Particle Man helps the villain to his feet. Universe Man gets up as well and pulls some handcuffs out of his trunks. With the villain cuffed the heroes head out the door. The cameraman walks with them.)
Particle Man: We’ll just leave this villain in a phone booth for the authorities to pick up. He was a formidable opponent, if not in combat but in his ability to attract followers to do his bidding. We have defeated this walking sex symbol fairly easily. I have a feeling disposing of JD Hart--
Universe Man: More like JD Fart…
Particle Man: Alright… you’ve had your fill of sophomoric humor today, chum. That’s quite enough.
Universe Man: Sorry.
Particle Man: Apology accepted… as I was saying JD and Sean Peters are certainly better at combat than this villain and his cult, but I think they should be able to dispose of just as easily. It might take a little more time, but the challenge level will be the same.
Universe Man: Of course it take more time. Me think beating up two giant dick would take twice the time as defeating one.
Particle Man: I like the logic you’re using. Well said Universe Man. Well said!
(Star wipe to black.)
I'm thinking most religions teach that murder has to be more pleasurable than sex. If you pleasure yourself some say you might go to hell for it someday. If you commit suicide you go lots of people say you go straight to hell.
I'm a professional wrestling fan so in the early hours of the morning before leaving work when I'm just there to sit alone and ponder I think of other things that may be pretend or "a work" just to take money away from people. I wonder when the Pope is going to break kayfabe.
Oh what a tangled web we weave! By we I mean the spider and I. Well, I guess I didn't do any of the weaving, but I supervised so I'm just as responsible. Like I said though, it's a tangled web, so it won't do. We've tried to untangle it, but it just ain't gonna happen folks. So I'm going to cut it with scissors. The spider won't have a home then, and knowing him he won't want to weave a new web. Perhaps he can just get a studio apartment. Those are pretty cheap.
Is there such a thing as something that is obviously ambiguous? If so I would think that everything that was ambiguous would be an obvious manner my next question would be if there was anything that would be ambiguously ambiguous?
There's this song by a group called Divinyls. Are maybe Dinvinyls is a person. I don't know. Anyway, there/her most famous song was "I Touch Myself". I always thought it'd be cool if some angsty group or singer covered the song but replaced the word touch with cut.
I would never tell anybody they were ugly. I don't think I would any way. Maybe if they were so ugly that it pissed me off. That, or if someone was really smug about their ugliness.
I saw this picture of sheep brains once. They were all brown. I wonder if my brains are brown like that. I'm guessing probably not. They're probably gray like my heart. If you eat too many organ meats they say that you can get gout. I wish unicorns existed. You could hunt them. Can you imagine the profit from the horn? Can you imagine the joy on a child's face when he gets to ride one? Better yet, can you imagine the melancholly look on the parents' faces when they realize that they just paid $50 so little Jonny could ride a unicorn. I would like to eat a unicorn. I wouldn't eat a horse, but a unicorn is special.
Do you know where chicken McNuggets come from? I'll tell you. The Grimace (who is shaped like a giant McNugget) and Birdie (a chicken) had sex. She laid her eggs, but when they hatched the children were already dead because the genes didn't mix. They were little, dead, grimace shaped chickens. They were born dead and ready to fry.
I woke up after a nap. Immediately after waking up a question came to me. "Where do scones go to heaven?" Scones, as in the fancy cookies some people enjoy with coffee. Heaven, in my mind, would be the place where God and the angels live. Also, as in the place where people who are arbitrarily deemed good go when they die in Judeo-Christian and the Muslim faiths. I immediately dismissed the question as nonsense and told myself that scones don't go to heaven. The question continued to bother me though. It was not the question itself, but the earnest manner in which I had asked the question that unsettled me. Seconds after asking the question I realized how silly it was, but the moment I had asked it I was completely serious. After I had answered the question it still kept echoing in my mind with the same genuineness it had when I first woke up. It was like part of my mind would not let go of the question. There was part of me that would not allow the question to be dismissed as foolishness. I thought this must be how crazy people feel all the time. I got up, drank a little water, and decided to write this. Part of me is still a little bothered as I finish this. The lesson is not to drink 4 cups of coffee and then force yourself to go to sleep. It is, or was, July 1, 2006. It is, or was, 3:02 in the afternoon and I am, or was, done writing.
I'm getting some money in a class action law suit. About six months ago I was at this monster truck show. They charged us for the whole seat when they knew damn well we would only be using the edge. The edge is about 1/4 of a seat legally. The tickets were $20 so a bunch of people are getting at least $15 back. Who knows what kind of money we'll get for emotional damages. I mean, I just can't trust another Monster Truck show again. Usually they scream something about charging you for the whole seat when you'll only be using the edge, but this time they forgot to put that in any of the advertisements for the show. Some guy thought he was a smart ass for calling them on their shit, but apparently we have a case.
You know how couples are registered at Target for weddings? I was thinking about picking a couple I didn't know, buy some sfuff from their list, and then keeping the appliances for myself so they wouldn't get it. It would be something to think about if I ever bought a house.
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